Past Imperfect
by Brinchen86
Summary: When Danny's past causes Lindsay to be hurt, will he ever be able to forgive himself?
1. Chapter 1

**Summary:**** When Danny's past causes Lindsay to be hurt, will he ever be able to forgive himself.**

**Author's note:**** Huge thanks to HillHarperHOT for beta'ing! Thank you so much for helping me with the summary and the idea!**

**Disclaimer: I don't own anything or anyone.**

**Pairings:**** DL in later chapters**

**Categories:**** Romance/Angst**

**Rating:**** T**

"Shot from behind, just when he wanted to enter his car. How cowardly," Danny said, looking down at Lindsay who was kneeling next to their victim. The man was lying next to his car, parked on a parking lot near the harbor.

Lindsay nodded, not looking up from what she was doing. "Looks like he had no idea what was going on until the bullet hit him."

While Danny walked over to the back of the car, his eyes remained on his co-worker. He knew that actually she had been on her way home when she had been called to this crime scene. But even though she seemed to be tired after working since 2 am in the morning, she still had sparkles in her eyes. Like always.

She loved her job that was for sure. She was always full of excitement, always willing to learn something new, and her little demonstrations had made her famous. Yes, she was a great partner. And an even better friend.

"What are you smiling at?" Lindsay's voice suddenly interrupted him in his thoughts. She had stood up from her kneeling position and was looking at him with an amused grin. "It's not nice to stare at a lady."

Danny chuckled, cursing himself when he noticed that he was blushing. She always caught him, no matter how careful he was when he was doing his favorite hobby; watching her. He had been doing this since he saw her for the first time. He had to admit that she had been incredibly cute while working in the tiger cage with Mac, being really nervous, especially when his little trick had worked and she had indeed called their boss 'sir'. He expected her to be mad at him, but apart from glaring at him for a brief moment, she hadn't done anything.

For the rest of this day, Danny had continued watching her; he just couldn't help it. This had become a habit; whenever he had the chance, he watched her. Of course he wasn't stalking her, and of course he told himself over and over again that the reason for his behavior was that he found it interesting to see her working, but sometimes he couldn't help the thought that there might be another reason why he couldn't tear his eyes away from her.

Like this morning, almost a year since she had started working at the lab. It was a nice but pretty hot afternoon in summer. Danny had instantly noticed his partner's tight, green shirt. A new shirt, he assumed, he hadn't seen her wearing it yet. Yes, he knew her clothes, and her hairdos. And no, he wasn't obsessed by her. Just interested. She was nice to look at, that was all.

"Oh, you're speechless? I can't believe it," Lindsay teased when, after an entire minute Danny still hadn't answered her question but had just looked at her. Smiling, she turned around to go back to what she had been working at earlier.

What happened then happened completely unexpected. The moment Lindsay turned around and made a step back into the direction of the victim, a shot was fired. Danny, who had just been on his way to the trunk of the car, instantly turned around to Lindsay, just in time to see her wince before she fell back against the car and slid to the ground.

"Lindsay!" Danny shouted, rushing over to her, in the same movement pulling his gun. His eyes wandered into the direction from where the shot must have come, instantly noticing the huge, black car, not far away from them.

It was the moment when the second shot fell. Before Danny could even think about reacting, he felt a sharp pain in his shoulder, ripping through his entire body, knowing the he had been shot as well. While the car left with squealing wheels, Danny, who could hardly keep himself on standing, let himself fall onto his knees next to Lindsay. In the stomach area, her shirt was already soaked with blood. Totally ignoring the horrible pain in his shoulder, he moved over to her, carefully taking her face in his palms.

"Lindsay? Lindsay, can you hear me?" he asked, feeling panic rising inside him. A painful groan revealed that she wasn't unconscious yet. Her eyes flattered open, she coughed lightly.

"Danny…what…" she tried to say.

"Shhh, don't talk," Danny silenced her. "Everything will be okay, don't worry. Everything will be okay."

He carefully pulled her shirt up a bit, just enough to reveal the entrance hole where the bullet had hit her. Her blood seemed to be everywhere and Danny could feel his panic rising with every passing moment. He had to help her. He somehow had to help her.

In one quick motion, Danny tried to remove his own shirt, clenching his teeth when another flash of pain rushed through his body. He pressed the fabric on her wound, desperately trying to stop the bleeding.

"Don't worry, I'll help you," he said breathlessly, looking up at her again, just to see that she was staring at him.

"You…you are.." she stammered, barely able to control her voice, her eyes focused on somewhere at his shoulder. Danny followed her eyes, for the first time seeing his own wound and the blood trail running down his chest. But at this moment all he cared about was her.

"I'm okay, Lindsay, don't worry," he promised. A painful grin appeared on her face.

"Since when…do you call me…Lindsay?" she managed to ask.

Danny could feel how tears shot in his eyes. "I'm sorry…Montana," he said, his voice shaking. His view became foggy, when he saw how she closed her eyes again, her head rolling back against the car.

"Don't give up, okay? Just don't give up," he whispered. A glance downwards revealed that his attempts at stopping the bleeding wasn't successful.

With shaking hands, he pulled his cell out of his jeans pocket, dialing the first number that came to his mind. The seconds before the phone call was answered seemed to be hours to him.

_Flack._

"Don, it's me," Danny said, his voice shaking even more in fear and pain. He could feel how his mind started to become dizzy. "Lindsay and I…we have a problem…over here. We…we were…shot."

Then he dropped his cell, not hearing Flack's answer anymore. Danny tried to stay awake, tried to move even closer to Lindsay, to protect her in case their attackers came back. He carefully pulled her into his arms, holding her tight before everything around him went black.


	2. Chapter 2

**A/N: Wow, thank you so much for all the reviews and for adding the story to your favourites and alerts!**

**Huge thanks to HillHarperHOT for beta'ing.  
**

When Danny woke up, he needed a while to realize where he was. From what he could tell, he was lying in a bed, which definitely seemed not to be his own. Confused by this he slowly opened his eyes, discovering that he was lying in a cold, white painted room. A hospital room.

Then all the memories rushed back. He and Lindsay had been processing evidence at a crime scene when they both had been shot. He had tried to help her, but hadn't been really successful. He had called Flack. But he had no idea what had happened after that.

"Lindsay!" Danny shouted, instantly feeling panic rising inside him again. Where was she? Was she okay? What if...? He tried to sit up, groaning at the pain in his shoulder. But before he had even managed to sit, he felt how two hands gently pushed him down again. It was the first time that he noticed he wasn't alone in his hospital room. He needed a moment before he recognized Hawkes.

"Danny, you have to stay in bed," he told him.

Danny, who's heart was racing by the thought of Lindsay, tried to move again, but again wasn't successful.

"Where's Lindsay?" he then asked, giving up on getting past Hawkes. "How is she? Is she okay? Please tell me, I need to know how she is."

"She'll be okay," Hawkes answered. Danny sighed in relief, but still wasn't satisfied with the answer.

"Why do I have the feeling there's a but?" he asked.

"There is no but," Hawkes promised. "She'll be okay. She was lucky. The bullet didn't hit any important organs."

"Can I see her?"

"I don't think that's a good idea yet. You have to stay here. You can visit her later," Hawkes replied, although he already knew that it was senseless.

"Why not? I'm okay. It was just a small shot in the shoulder," Danny tried to explain, ignoring that the pain in his should was still almost unbearable. He needed to see her, no matter what he had to do for it.

"A small shot in the shoulder?" Hawkes repeated disbelieving. "Danny what are you trying to tell me? The only reason why you were able to act after the shot was the adrenaline. You can't just run through the hospital."

"Sheldon, please," Danny pleaded, praying that he could convince his friend. "I need to see her. I believe you, but I need to get to her. Isn't there any possibility you can bring me to her room?"

Hawkes sighed. He knew how close these two were, even though they were just friends and not even together. Of course he could understand Danny. He himself hadn't given up on questioning the doctors and nurses until he knew for sure that his two friends would make it. He remembered how they had found them; Danny was holding Lindsay in her arms, his bloody shirt still covering her wound.

"I'll see what I can do for you," he then said. "But you won't move, okay? You'll stay here until I come back."

"I promise," Danny answered, giving his friend a grateful smile.

A few minutes later, Hawkes returned, a smile on his face.

"Good news for you," he said. "You can see her for a few minutes. But you'll take this there." Hawkes pulled a wheelchair into the room. "I know, you tell yourself you're feeling good, but the doctor and I agree that you're wrong."

"Whatever," Danny replied and let Hawkes help him to get into the wheelchair.

The closer Danny came to Lindsay's room, the more nervous he became. There were so many thoughts spinning in his mind, and most of them weren't good. For some reason he felt responsible for her, and the fact that she was shot while she was together with him made him feel even worse.

The moment they entered the hospital room, Danny's eyes focused on Lindsay. He heard Hawkes asking him something, but didn't know what he had said. With one hand supporting him on the edge of her bed, he stood up from his sitting position and with some help from his friend managed to sit down next to her.

Tears were rising in Danny's eyes when he carefully took one of her hands in his, gently stroking it. She was pale and in the huge hospital bed she seemed to be even smaller than she already was. She looked so vulnerable that Danny wanted nothing else than to pull her in his arms, hold her tight and never let her go again.

"I'm sorry, Montana," he said quietly, squeezing her hand lightly. He so desperately wanted to talk to her, wanted to have her awake to tell her what was burning on his mind. But at this moment Danny was already grateful that he had the opportunity to see her, to see that she was still there, that she'd be okay.

"Danny, I'm sorry," Hawkes' voice interrupted him in his thoughts. "I know, you want to stay here, but I have to bring you back to your room. You can see her later again, but now we have to go."

He had expected Danny would contradict, would plead to stay, but to his surprise Danny just nodded in agreement.

On their way back to Danny's room, the two men didn't talk a single word. Hawkes could feel that Danny's thoughts were far away, but he didn't want to force him to tell him what he was thinking about. And he didn't have to.

"Thank you," Danny said after his friend had helped him back into his bed. "You have no idea how much this meant to me."

"No problem," Hawkes replied, giving his friend a supportive smile. "And don't worry anymore. Like I said, she'll be okay."

Danny nodded. He was silent for a moment before he continued speaking.

"I wish I could have protected her," he said, and Hawkes noticed the guilt in his voice. "She was working with me. Actually she had the rest of the day off. She shouldn't even have been there. But she was, and I couldn't save her."

These thoughts had been in his mind almost since he had woken up. Danny couldn't stop thinking about the earlier events. How he had watched her, silently admiring her. How she had smiled at him and teased him. And then, within a flash, all this had happened, and he had been helpless, not able to do anything. The thought of this was unbearable for him.

"Danny, what happened wasn't your fault," Hawkes said. "What could you have done? Nobody expected this to happen. Neither of you could have seen it coming. You did your best to save her. And even though you were shot, too, you tried to help her, to protect her. There's really no reason why you should feel guilty."

Danny sighed. He knew that what Hawkes was telling him made sense and was right, but he still felt responsible and wondered if he might have been able to do more for her, although he knew that he had done what he could.

"Danny, I know, maybe this is not the best moment for that," Hawkes then said, causing Danny to turn his attention back to his friend. "But...do you have any ideas who might have done this? Did you see anything?"

Danny needed a moment to think about the question. He hadn't even thought about this yet. "Yes, I saw something," he answered, remembering what had happened after the first shot. "I saw a car. A black car, not far away from us. The shots must have come from there. But I didn't see anyone in person."

Hawkes nodded. "Maybe Flack or someone else will come later to ask you about that. But I think, at the moment you should just rest a bit."

Danny had to admit that Hawkes was right. Even though he tried to overplay that he was a victim, like Lindsay, he couldn't deny that the throbbing pain in his shoulder was torturing him and he felt pretty sleepy. But before he closed his eyes to sleep a bit, his thoughts wandered back to Hawkes' question. Someone had tried to shoot them. Someone who had managed to escape? The question now was- would this person, or these persons, return? And- were they related to the crime they had worked on or did they have other reasons?


	3. Chapter 3

**A/N: Thanks for all the reviews!**

**Huge thanks to HillHarperHOT for beta'ing.**

After Hawkes left, Danny noticed that he was more tired than he had expected. The rest of the evening and the night he spent sleeping. The next morning he was woken up by the doctor very early.

"Good morning, Mr Messer, how are you today?" he asked friendly.

"Good," was Danny's short, but not really true reply. "What about Lindsay? I mean Miss Monroe?"

Smiling at the excitement in his patient's eyes, the doctor answered, "She's much better today."

"Can I see her?"

"Not yet," the doctor replied, giving Danny and excusing look. "She hasn't woken up yet. But I promise I'll tell you when she'll wake up and you can visit her. And please, stay in bed until I'll come to pick you up."

"Sure," Danny answered disappointed. When he had woken up, he had hoped to visit her, at least for a minute. Of course he was grateful that he had already seen her the day before, but for some reason he couldn't bear the thought that she was lying in another room and he had no chance to see her. Yes, he'd even admit that he was missing her.

Later that morning, Danny, who was getting bored more and more because he still was told to stay in bed, finally got his first visitor. One after the other, all of his friends from the lab made an appearance, at least for a few minutes.

Flack stayed a bit longer and, like Hawkes had already said the day before, asked him about what had happened. Danny tried to remember what he had seen, or heard, which wasn't much. The shock about the fact that his partner had gotten shot had practically blinded out everything else around him. All he could remember was a huge, black car, which instantly drove away after he had gotten shot as well. He hadn't had a chance to see the driver, not even for a second.

"Okay," Flack said after Danny had told him what he knew. "That's not much, but you know us, we'll get him. He'll pay for what he's done."

Danny nodded. All he wanted was for his colleagues would catch the shooter as fast as possible. He wished he'd have been able to help them with that, but knew that currently there was no chance to do anything.

"Right now I'm also wondering if the person was the one who shot your victim," Flack continued after a brief moment of silence.

"That was my first thought. Maybe he wanted to prevent us from finding something," Danny replied. "Why else would he try to shoot us? At a crime scene?"

"I have no idea. We don't know if he's connected to the victim," Flack said. "So, how is it to lie in bed the whole day, huh? Didn't you just complain that you're so stressed a few days ago?"

"Are you kidding me? Lying in bed after getting shot in the shoulder is the furthest thing from relaxing," Danny answered.

Flack just laughed. He was glad that he had managed to change the topic so easily. Even though Danny tried to hide it, the shooting from the day before had affected him a lot. Especially the fact that Lindsay had been a victim as well. The truth was that he and the rest of the team didn't have the slightest idea what might have happened. A connection between the shooter and the victim was one possibility. But there was also the chance that whoever had attacked his colleagues, could have had other reasons for that. Finding out the motive was their job, and he didn't want to burden his friend with that, not at this moment.

Flack stayed for a few more moments before he left as well. It was already late in the morning. The visits of his friends had been a nice change for him, but after they had all left, he was alone with his thoughts again, and his worry. He couldn't help his thoughts drifting away to Lindsay again. The doctor still hadn't come. Did this mean she had still not woken up? Maybe she was feeling worse. The more he thought about it, the more he could fear rising inside him again.

Danny tried to force himself to stay in bed, but the situation became more and more unbearable with every passing moment. After another ten minutes he decided to stop torturing himself. Not paying any attention to the pain in his shoulder, his target, Lindsay, always present in his mind, he managed to get up. But before he could head towards the door, it suddenly went open and to Danny's surprise the doctor entered the room.

"Mr Messer, what do you think you're doing?" he said in a serious tone, causing Danny to blush.

"I…uh…just wanted to…" Danny blushed even more, not finding a fitting excuse.

The doctor amused shook his head. "I'd recommend you do what we tell you. There's a reason why you have to stay in bed. Anyway, I'm here because I have good news for you. Miss Monroe just woke up. She immediately asked for you, and I told her I'd pick you up."

When he heard what the doctor said, a huge smile lit Danny's face. Not just that he was finally allowed to see her. She had asked for him.

A few minutes later, Danny and the doctor entered Lindsay's hospital room. The moment they walked through the doorway, Lindsay and Danny's eyes met. He didn't even notice how the doctor silently left the room again. All Danny was focusing on was the woman in the hospital bed in front of him. Her face was still pale, her eyes looking tired, but there were still these unique sparkles in them.

"Hey cowboy," she greeted him, giving him one of her gorgeous smiles.

"Hey Lindsay," Danny greeted back. When he saw how she raised her eyebrows at him, he added, "I meant Montana. Since when do you like me calling you Montana? I thought it annoyed you."

"It did," she replied, smiling even more. "But actually I like it now. When you don't call me that, I always have the feeling something's wrong."

While listening to her, Danny could feel tears rising in his eyes again. How desperately he had wished for her to be awake again, how much he had wished to hear her voice. And now she was smiling at him, teasing him.

He slowly walked over to her and sat down next to her. He gently took one of her hands in his, stroking it lightly.

"So, how do you feel?" he asked, trying to control his voice as good as possible, hoping that it didn't show how affected he was by this situation.

"Apart from the fact that I have an awful, hurting gunshot wound in my stomach, I'm good," she answered. "What about you?" She pointed at his bandaged shoulder.

"Oh, that's nothing, I'm good," Danny said, smiling back at her. Of course his arm was still hurting and it was driving him crazy, but she didn't have to know that.

They looked at each other for several minutes, neither of them saying a word. Danny had to fight hard against the urge to just embrace her, to hold her as tight as he could. After the day before, he had stopped telling himself that she was just a friend, just a co-worker. There was more, definitely, even if it was just from his side. But it was there. And he couldn't deny it. He couldn't deny how important she was to him, and also how he still wished she hadn't been at the crime scene. Or that he had been able to protect her.

"Are you okay?" Lindsay asked after what had to be several minutes.

"What? Sure," Danny answered, needing a moment to clear his thoughts. He tried to fake a smile, but should have known that she wouldn't believe him.

"Okay, don't lie at me," she told him in a serious tone. "What's going on? Why do you look like you have done something wrong?"

Danny sighed. He knew he wouldn't get out of this without saying anything. "It's nothing. It's just...I'm sorry."

"What?" Lindsay asked, totally surprised. "You're sorry? Why?"

"Because...because," Danny stammered, not sure what to say. "I wish I...I could have protected you. I wish I had seen the car earlier. I wish you had never been called to that damn crime scene."

After hearing what he had said, Lindsay just stared at Danny for a moment. She couldn't believe what he was just trying to tell her.

"You...you don't really feel guilty because I got shot?" she asked. When he just stared back, her eyes widened. "Danny, how can you even think like that? How the hell would you have been able to notice anything earlier? Or how did you want to protect me?" She bent forward as far as she could, her fingers gently stroking over his cheek. "Stop feeling responsible for me, okay? I could also feel guilty, because I didn't protect you. Only because you're the guy doesn't mean you always have to save me. And apart from that, I didn't forget what you did."

"And what did I do?"

"What did you do? Even though you were shot, too, you tried to help me, tried to calm me down. You were there, not thinking about saving yourself but protecting me. I'll never forget that."

Although he could feel new tears rising in his eyes, Danny couldn't help but smile at this comment. The warmth in her eyes and the determination she had made him believe her. Not completely yet, but he had to admit that maybe she was right.

"And now stop worrying," Lindsay added.

"Is this a demand?" Danny asked back, grinning lightly.

"Yes, it is," Lindsay replied, grinning as well. And once again Danny was impressed by how easily this woman could change his mind and his mood, with just a few sentences.

--

Meanwhile Stella had just entered Mac's office. The two were leaning against his desk, both with a concerned look on their faces.

"And you're sure that the bullets that hit Danny and Lindsay aren't from the same gun the victim had been shot with?" Mac asked once again.

"Yes, definitely," Stella answered.

"That's not good," Mac sighed.

"This could also mean that the shooter just used two different guns," Stella replied, although she wasn't convinced by her own theory.

Mac nodded. "I know. But something is telling me that the two cases have nothing to do with each other." He stood up and walked over to the window.

"But why would someone just try to kill them?"

"That's what we have to find out now," Mac answered. He knew they had to find out what exactly had happened and why. As fast as possible.


	4. Chapter 4

**A/N: Wow! Thanks again for all the reviews!!**

**And like always, huge thanks to HillHarperHOT for beta'ing! Thank you, hun!**

While Mac and Stella tried to find an explanation for what had happened at the crime scene, Danny had pushed the thoughts about that far away. He was still in Lindsay's hospital room, still sitting on the edge of her bed.

His eyes were resting on his hand still holding hers. He didn't know why, but for some reason he couldn't let her out of his gentle grip. He wished he could hold her forever, could always keep this physical connection between them.

Although she had gotten shot, and her wound had been more dangerous than his, she seemed to be almost like she had been before. Her eyes were sparkling, and she had this teasing smile, which was so much a part of her personality.

Once again Danny was so deep in his thoughts that he didn't notice that Lindsay was watching him.

"You look tired," she said after a while, what had to be several minutes.

"What?" Danny asked, looking up at her.

"You look tired," she repeated, a concerned look in her eyes. "Are you in pain?"

"Oh, no, I'm good," Danny lied. The truth was the throbbing pain in his left shoulder had become stronger again. But he still didn't want to admit that.

"Danny," Lindsay sighed, lightly squeezing his hand. "Why do you think you have to play the invulnerable hero, huh? Well, the hero part is true. But you're as less invulnerable as I am. You did a lot to help me at the crime scene, to rescue and to protect me. But now we're here, in a hospital. There's no need to behave like this anymore. And there's nothing wrong with admitting that you don't feel well. So, another chance- how do you feel?"

Despite his pain, Danny couldn't help but smile. He was impressed by how much she knew him, and how easily she could guess his thoughts. So why lie to her?

"Let's say, I've felt better. But since I'm here with you, it's okay," he answered.

Lindsay smiled satisfied. "That's something I can believe. You know what? Actually you should go back into your room, but honestly, I don't want you to go. So I have another suggestion. My bed is big enough, we could share." And with that she moved to the right edge of her bed, inviting him to lie down next to her.

Danny hesitated for a moment, not sure how to react. He couldn't deny that at this moment he wanted nothing more than lying down, especially next to her. But the feelings the thoughts of this alone were causing inside him, were making him unsure again.

"What are you waiting for?" Lindsay asked, nodding her head in the direction of the empty half of her bed.

Deciding that not doing it would be worse than just lying down next to her, even though he was still confused by what his feelings were doing to him, Danny finally did what she had told him. He tried to make himself as comfortable as possible, pulling the offered bit of Lindsay's blanket over him.

And then they just lay there, next to each other and neither of them saying a word. Even though they were doing nothing, he couldn't deny that they had never been this close before. They were lying in the same bed, only inches separating their bodies. There was something coming from her, warmth that made his wish to just pull her into his arms increase even more.

And before Danny managed to convince himself to not give in, to just wait and see, because she was still his friend and co-worker, and possibly not interested in him the same way, he suddenly felt a light contact on his right hand. His eyes wandered downwards, seeing how her small hand had gripped his once again, holding it firmly.

"Do you feel better now?" he could hear her asking and when he turned his head he could see her watching him.

"Yes, much better," Danny answered, nodding.

"That's good," Lindsay replied her intense, brown eyes locked with his, making it impossible for him to look away. "Because I'm feeling much better, too. I'm so glad you're here. I felt lonely when I woke up."

"Yeah, I know what you mean, I felt the same. But…I'm sure the others will come and visit you as well soon," he said, although he already expected that this wasn't what she had meant. And he was proved right when she shook her head.

"It's not the same," she answered, moving closer again, resting her head against his healthy shoulder. "I'm glad you are here. Sure, it'd be nice if the others would come as well, but as long as I have you, I'm good."

Danny didn't know what to respond to that. It wasn't just because of what she had said but also because of how she had said it. Her voice was low and soft and it was making him shiver lightly. She wasn't just saying that she was glad he was there, she meant it. There was something in this woman's voice this time that was different from all the times she had spoken to him before.

And while thinking about that, the urge to get closer to her became so strong that he was hardly able to ignore it. And once again she seemed to read his thoughts.

"Can you come a bit closer?" she asked, looking at him again. When she saw the unsure look he gave him, she added, "I mean…the bed isn't that big, and falling out of it wouldn't help your healing process."

Lindsay didn't even try to hide her excuse. The way she said it he knew that her concern of him falling out of her bed was nothing else than a simple excuse. An excuse for her to ask him to come closer.

And this time, Danny didn't hesitate. He moved a bit until he could close his right arm around her small frame. He carefully pulled her closer, making sure that he didn't move her too much and hurt her. A moment later she was lying in his arms again, snuggling against his chest as good as she could. They had found a comfortable position for both of them.

"I think it's better like this, right?" Lindsay asked.

Danny just nodded. He wasn't able to speak. The sudden nearness of his friend, who obviously was much more than just that, had a slight overwhelming affect on him. An affect that confused him, but also made him feel better than he had felt for a long time.

--

While Danny and Lindsay were getting closer with every passing moment, Mac was sitting in his office again. Deep in his thoughts, he was staring at a file in front of him. It was from a closed case. While he and Stella had thought about possible reasons for the different bullets, the man who had shot the victim next to his car had been caught. After they had found his gun, he had instantly confessed to the murder.

Only a few minutes ago, Mac had gotten the information that the murder weapon indeed was the only gun the killer owned. Which proved Mac's theory that the two cases had nothing to do with each other, right?

Mac had hoped that Stella's theory of the shooter having used two different guns would have been right. This would have been the easiest explanation for what had happened to his two CSIs. But now, after finding out that this was impossible, he was facing a new problem. The other shooter was still out there. And no matter what motives he had, he was still dangerous, and they had to find him. The question was how.

With a sigh Mac stood up from his office chair again. Until now they had only found out that the two bullets which had hit his colleagues were different from the other one. Maybe he could find a connection to earlier cases. There had to be something, Mac could practically feel it. He just had to find it.


	5. Chapter 5

**A/N: Thanks for reading and reviewing!**

**Thanks to HillHarperHOT for beta'ing!**

After a brief moment of feeling insecure when he had taken Lindsay in his arms, Danny now enjoyed the nearness between the two of them. He was lying on his right side, his arm wrapped around her, while she was lying on her back.

They hadn't spoken for minutes, and neither of them wanted to break the silence, nor to ruin this peaceful and intense situation between them. But after a while, Lindsay seemed to feel uncomfortable with her position. She moved a bit, biting her lips when the pain, caused by her wound, shot through her body, pressing her hand against her stomach.

Danny helped her to change her position, until now he was lying on his back and her head was resting on his shoulder again.

"Are you okay?" he asked concerned, hating to see that she was in pain again. How much he wished he could leave the hospital and go catch the person who had done this to her.

With her hand still on her stomach, Lindsay managed to smile lightly. "Well, I think I'm just not used to having a gunshot wound," she commented, causing Danny to smile as well. Even though she didn't feel well, she still managed to joke with him, which amazed him even more.

"Yeah, I know what you mean," he agreed.

Lindsay nodded. She remained looking at him for a moment before she asked, "Have you ever gotten shot before?"

Danny looked back at her, needing a moment before he could answer. He had tried to not think about this topic; one reason why he still tried to ignore the fact that he had gotten shot at the crime scene as well. But her question now made it impossible for him to deny what was coming back to the surface again.

"Uh…well…yes," he answered after a moment of silence, looking away from her again.

"Oh, I didn't know that," Lindsay said surprised.

Danny could almost feel that she wanted to know more and he knew that giving her some answers would be better than waiting until she asked. And so he carefully pulled his shirt out of the waistband of his pants, pushing it up a bit. Lindsay instantly noticed the small, white scar, a few inches above his hipbone. Instinctively she reached over to him, carefully brushing her fingertips over the old wound.

"What happened?" she asked. She hadn't known that he had gotten shot before and for some reason it seemed to shock her a bit.

"It was a long time ago," Danny replied, hoping that his answer would satisfy her. "I was sixteen when it happened. It's a long story."

Hearing his answer, Lindsay looked up at him again, once again locking her eyes with his. He expected her to ask further questions. But he was wrong.

"You don't want to talk about it, right?" she asked. "You don't have to. Not now."

"Thank you," Danny answered relieved. She gave him a small smile before she moved back into her former position, this time resting her arm on his stomach, her hand gently stroking his left side.

Danny didn't need her to say anything to know that she was thinking about what she had just heard. The two of them were close friends, for around a year now, and they knew almost everything about each other. What had happened around 14 years ago was something she hadn't known yet and he could understand that she couldn't just accept it, especially not when she had learned that he didn't want to give her further information. As much as he wanted to tell her more, at this moment he just couldn't.

"We can talk about that later, okay?" he asked, but she shook her head.

"No, its okay," she answered. "Sometimes things happen we don't want to talk about, we just want to forget. It's okay, don't worry. Just tell me whenever you want."

Her reaction actually should have relieved Danny; she was accepting his wish. But the way she had said it, the way she had said that 'we' don't want to talk about things but just want to forget them had caught his attention. For some reason he was sure that he wasn't the only one who was hiding something. But he also knew that this wasn't the time to push.

Danny stayed in Lindsay's hospital room until midday. He noticed that she became more and more tired, hardly able to keep her eyes open. When the doctor then came and told them that they both needed to rest, Danny agreed to go back into his own room again, promising that he'd come back later.

When he was lying in his own bed again, feeling how his own tiredness slowly started to lull him into sleep, his former conversation with Lindsay appeared in his mind again. Until the day before, he had almost managed to forget. The shooting had brought back memories he had hoped to never think about again. This and the fact that Lindsay seemed to hide something as well, were concerning him. He knew that neither of them would push the other one, but some time they'd have to talk, this was for sure.

--

It was afternoon when Stella entered Mac's office. After successfully closing the case Danny and Lindsay had worked at before, they were now concentrating on what might have happened to their two colleagues.

The moment she entered her friend's office, she could feel the tension. When she walked through the door, he looked up.

"Any news?" Stella asked.

"Yes," Mac answered, the concern in his eyes frightening her.

"Let me guess- you found out more about the bullets, but it's not good for us?" she asked.

Mac sighed. "I found out more." He gestured her to come over to him. "I found out that the gun with what the bullets was fired, had been used in several crimes before."

"Okay," Stella said, slowly understanding why Mac was worried, but she didn't know the entire story yet.

"The guy we're talking about has never been caught," Mac continued after a brief moment of silence. "It's an old case. Around 14 years ago, I was working a case about a serial killer, who shot several people. Young people. But his last victim survived and he somehow managed to escape. For 14 years he seemed to have disappeared, looks like he returned."

Stella could feel shivers running down her spine. She didn't know when she had seen her friend so concerned for the last time. No surprise- the never caught serial killer seemed to be back, which was the only logical explanation why they had found bullets which had been shot with the same gun the killer had used years ago. But there was still something she didn't understand yet.

"But why did he attack Danny and Lindsay?" she asked. "What do they have to do with the case?"

When she saw the look Mac gave her, she wished she hadn't asked.

"Lindsay has nothing to do with all this," Mac answered. "But Danny has a connection to him."

"How?" Stella asked, although she could already guess it. And Mac's answer proved her right.

"Because he was the shooter's last victim, the one who survived," he answered.


	6. Chapter 6

**A/N: Thank you so much for all the reviews!!**

**Thanks to HillHarperHOT for beta'ing!**

Stella couldn't believe what she had just heard. Her face was pale and she stared at Mac in shock. This was definitely not what she had expected.

"So you...you mean the person who tried to shoot Danny and Lindsay was the serial killer? The one who once already tried to kill him?" she asked, hoping that he'd tell her she had misunderstood him.

"Yes," Mac answered, wiping away Stella's last bit of hope.

"Are you sure?" she made another attempt. "Are you sure the bullets that hit them were coming from the same gun the killer used all those years ago?"

"Stella, I checked it five times. I am sure," Mac answered. "It was him. Definitely."

Stella nodded. Now she could understand Mac's concern. "What exactly happened 14 years ago?"

Mac sighed. Although it happened so many years ago, he could clearly remember everything. "It was one of my earlier cases, one of my first. There was a serial killer in the city. He killed his victims with a single shot. They all weren't older than maybe 18. And no matter what we tried, he always seemed to guess what we'd do next. Somehow he managed to not leave any evidence; there was nothing that could have helped us, nothing except the bullets. And nobody had ever saw anything. Until he met his last victim."

"So you mean Danny saw him?" Stella asked. Mac nodded.

"Yes, he saw him. I'm not sure what went wrong. Usually the victims had no idea what was going on till they were shot. But Danny somehow must have notice something before. The killer was able to shoot, but before he could escape, Danny saw him. We tried everything to get him, especially since we had a description of him. But ever since that day he seemed to be disappeared. We didn't hear anything about him again."

"Until now," Stella said.

"Yes, until now," Mac repeated. "I just wonder why he's coming back now, after so many years. Why now? Why didn't he just stay where he was?"

"I wish I could help you with that," Stella answered. She was still shocked by what she had just found out. Now she understood the connection, but the idea of it was frightening her. "What are you going to do next?"

"I think I'll drive to the hospital," Mac replied, already standing up from his chair. "I should talk to Danny. He should know about what we have found out. And maybe he has more information than he knows yet."

--

A few minutes later, Mac was on his way to the hospital. While he was leading his car through the traffic, his thoughts drifted away. He thought about the events years ago. It felt like it had happened yesterday. All the images were still in his mind. He could still see the young teenager, lying in the hospital bed with the shotgun wound in his left side, and the fear in the boy's eyes. He remembered how he had met his parents, who had been shocked, had told him to catch the guy who had done this to their son, who had tried to kill him.

Mac thought about how he had promised to catch the shooter, to end the nightmare, and to protect their son. Then he had talked to Danny for the first time, had asked him about what had happened. Now, years later, he was used to interrogations like this. But at this time it had been new to him. All he wanted was to get this guy, to send him to prison for all the cruel crimes. The statement of the boy was the first real hint he had. But for some reason he had already known that they wouldn't be successful.

After Mac had parked his car near the hospital entrance, he remained sitting in the driver's seat for another minute. All this had happened so many years ago. He had never forgotten this case, and when he was honest, he often thought about it when he looked at his younger colleague. He didn't know how much Danny had gotten over what had happened to him, and he hadn't wanted to ask. But now he'd have to tell him that obviously the guy, who had once tried to kill him, seemed to be back. This was not an easy job for Mac.

After taking another deep breathe, Mac finally left his car. While he walked over to the entrance, he didn't know that he was watched since the moment he had arrived.

--

When Danny woke up, he needed a moment to realize where he was and what time it was. A short glance at the clock standing on next to his bed revealed that it was already afternoon. He wondered what Lindsay was doing at this moment.

Thinking about Lindsay, a huge smile instantly lit Danny's face. This always happened, whenever he thought about said woman from Montana. But now it was different. He remembered his visit in the morning. The way they had talked, the way they had shared her bed and had lain in each other's arms had been surprising and very enjoyable. And it hadn't been him who had made the first step, it had been her. Maybe there was really a chance that she could be interested in him as well? Maybe at least a little bit? He definitely had to find it out. And he had to visit her again. Like for saying 'good night'?

But before Danny could make any further plans, his door was suddenly opened. He was surprised when he saw Mac entering the room.

"Hey Mac," he greeted. "Wow, this is the second time you visited me today." But Danny's smile disappeared again when he saw the serious and concerned look in his boss' eyes. "Is everything okay?"

"I have to talk to you," Mac answered, not trying to start any small talk but instantly coming to the serious topic.

"Anything new about who attacked us?" Danny asked. He had almost successfully managed to avoid thinking about this person.

Mac nodded. "Yes. It had nothing to do with the case the two of you were working at. We already caught the guy."

"That sounds good. And...do you have some evidence who could have been the other shooter?"

Again Mac nodded, the expression on his face becoming even more serious. "Yes. We found out that the gun he used had been used for several crimes. The case wasn't solved yet."

"Okay," Danny answered, slowly getting nervous by the way Mac was looking at him. "And what do we know about these cases?"

"We're talking about a serial killer. A serial killer who committed several murders. It happened around...14 years ago."

Danny needed a moment before he completely understood Mac's statement. The moment he realized what his boss was talking about, his eyes went wide in shock. No, no this couldn't be true.

"You want to tell me..." he started, not able to finish the sentences.

"Yes," Mac replied. "It looks like he's back."


	7. Chapter 7

**A/N: Thank you so much for reviewing! Thank you!**

**Huge thanks to HillHarperHOT for beta'ing!**

When Lindsay woke up in the afternoon, she was surprised about how long she had slept. Obviously the pain killers the nurse had given her had a stronger affect on her than she had expected.

But this didn't mean she had forgotten what had happened just a few hours ago. When Lindsay had woken up in the morning, she had felt horrible. Her wound was hurting and she felt tired and weak. She needed a while until she could remember what had happened before and why she suddenly was at a hospital.

But after a brief moment, all of the memories rushed back. The shot had hit her by surprise. She couldn't clearly remember what exactly had been going on. All she knew was that suddenly Danny had been at her side, trying to help her. He had tried to calm her down. Although he had been shot as well.

When Lindsay had remembered that Danny had been wounded as well, a sudden fear had made her shudder. She needed to know if he was okay.

And so the first thing she said when the doctor had talked to her, had been his name, hoping that he'd tell her something about Danny. She was incredibly relieved when the doctor told her that apart from a wound in his shoulder he was okay.

When Danny then had entered her hospital room a few minutes later, all the pain and weakness Lindsay had felt seemed to be disappeared. All she had wanted was to talk to him, needing him to tell her that he was really okay.

But while Danny was talking to her, Lindsay had instantly noticed that something was wrong with him. A long time ago she had learned to read his body language. He didn't know it, but she had often watched him. For some reason she just couldn't help it, but since the day she had met him at the zoo, he had caught her attention. There was something special surrounding him which she just couldn't resist.

So Lindsay instantly noticed that Danny seemed to worry about something. His answer to her question if he was okay had totally surprised her. She didn't know what she had expected, but that he'd tell her he was sorry because he hadn't been able to protect her had been the least she had expected him to say.

Although she couldn't understand how he had come up with his thoughts, she couldn't deny that his answer had caused a strange feeling deep inside her. A comfortable feeling. Of course she had told him that there was no need to worry because he had done a lot for her, although he had been hurt as well.

But even though she more or less had been able to convince him, something had changed. Although Lindsay couldn't remember much of the shooting, it seemed as if it had brought them closer to each other. The way he had tried to comfort her, to take care of her and the way he held her hand and looked at her were clear evidence for that.

And it wasn't just him. Until this time, Lindsay always had seen Danny as her friend, maybe even her best friend, but never as something more. But while she was together with him in her room, she suddenly wasn't sure anymore. She couldn't deny the wish to be close to him. Not just in the same room. She wanted to be near him, as near as possible in their current situation.

And although she usually wasn't the one who made the first step, Lindsay had been the one who had offered him to join her in her bed. First, because he seemed to not feel good, but also to be closer to him.

And then he had taken her in his arms. The feeling of him holding her had an intense affect on her. Although Danny was actually doing nothing, he gave her a special feeling; a feeling of being protected. For a woman like Lindsay, who was used to doing a lot on her own, and to take care of her own, this was a new but also relieving experience. He didn't have to tell her that he'd do everything to protect her, and the knowledge of this was a good feeling for her.

Lindsay wished this moment between them to stay forever. But the situation had changed when she had asked him a question. It hadn't been a special question, but it suddenly had come to her mind. She had asked him if he had ever been shot before. And from one moment to the other she could feel him change. Although Danny answered with 'yes' and even showed her the old scar, she could clearly feel that he felt uncomfortable with this topic. For some reason he didn't want to talk about it.

Of course Lindsay had wanted to know more. Not only because of her curiosity, but also because the fact that he had gotten shot before had frightened her. She wanted to know what had happened, but she also knew that she couldn't force him to answer. And this was what she told him. She told him that she could wait, that she was accepting his wish. Because she could understand how he felt, maybe more than anyone else. But at this moment it hadn't been the right moment for a conversation like this.

While lying in her bed, Lindsay mentally replayed this moment. Both of them had a secret the other one didn't know about and neither of them had been able to talk about it. But deep inside Lindsay knew that some day they'd have to talk, even though it wouldn't be easy, for none of them.

But at this moment, this conversation seemed to be far away. Apart from these few minutes, the time Danny and Lindsay had spent together had been very enjoyable, even though they were at a hospital, both wounded by a shooter they didn't know anything about yet.

This was at least what Lindsay thought. During the time they had been together, she hadn't even thought about asking him if he knew anything about the person who had tried to kill them. But now, while being alone, she started to think about it for the first time.

--

Telling Danny that the person who had once tried to kill him seemed to be back hadn't been an easy job for Mac. Not because he had been afraid to speak it out, but because of his younger colleague's reaction.

The moment Danny had realized what Mac had told him, he had looked at his boss with huge, shocked eyes. Mac could see the old fear in his eyes. During his career he had seen a lot of people, frightened people. Although it was hard, he had tried to learn to live with it.

But this time it was different. It reminded him of how he had felt so many years ago, when he had had to interrogate the teenager who had just survived the attack of a serial killer. He couldn't just ignore the memories coming back. This case would be harder than he had expected.

"You...you're sure it's him?" Danny asked, although he already knew the answer.

"Yes, I think we can be sure it's him," Mac answered. "The bullets were definitely fired with the same gun he has used. It would also explain why he...tried to..." Mac stopped, not wanting to say it again.

Danny's face went paler with every passing moment. He wanted to say more, wanted to ask more, but he couldn't. All the memories, rushing back at this moment, were overwhelming him. What had already come back to the surface after his talk to Lindsay was now almost unbearable. Of course Danny had never forgotten what had happened so many years ago, but he had tried to think about it as less as possible. But the fact that this guy obviously was back was the worst way to remind him.

"But...why...why is he back? After so many years? What...what does he want?" Danny managed to ask.

"I have no idea," Mac replied, wishing he could say more. "We can assume that he tried to shoot you because you were the only one who saw him and could identify him. But I don't know why he came back and didn't just stay away. Or why he attacked both of you."

The moment Danny heard Mac's last sentence, his eyes widened in shock. All the information he had just gotten had been so overwhelming that he had totally forgotten to think about something else. Something that now hit him. It hadn't just been him who had gotten shot. He had attacked Lindsay as well. Mac's explanations for the shooter's possible motive were logical in Danny's eyes. He had tried to kill him because he had been the only witness, the only survivor. It had all been because of him.

"Danny, are you okay?" Mac asked concerned. Danny just shook his head, without looking at his boss.

"He shot her because of me," he said in a low voice. "He almost killed her because of me."

"Danny, don't say that," Mac said, walking over to his bed. "We don't know why he did that. We don't know why he shot her as well. Maybe it was because he didn't want any other witnesses. I have no idea."

"She doesn't know anything yet, right?" Danny asked.

Mac nodded. "I wanted to talk to you first. Do you want me to go to her and tell her what we found out?"

But Danny shook his head. "No, I'll do that. I'll tell her. Everything."

"Okay. If you need anything..."

"...I'll ask you," Danny completed. "Thanks, Mac. For everything."

Even though it would have been easier if Mac had talked to Lindsay, Danny thought that it'd be better if he did it. He wanted to be the one who told her what happened. Not just because he felt responsible for her, and for what had happened. He also knew that it was about time to face his past.


	8. Chapter 8

**A/N: Thanks for reviewing!**

**Thanks to HillHarperHOT for beta'ing. Thank you so much for all the help and support!**

After a few more minutes, Mac left again. He had promised to send someone for Danny and Lindsay's protection, to make sure that the shooter wouldn't be able to get close enough to one of them.

During the time Mac was in his room, Danny tried to hide how affected he was by what he had just learned. It was hard for him to concentrate on what his boss was saying. His mind was spinning. His theory about the shooting had been a connection to the case he and Lindsay had been working at. But that his past would have to do with it was the least he had expected.

When Mac left, Danny felt the emotions he had tried to suppress, rushing back with an almost overwhelming force. He knew he had never really managed to get over the shooting, even though his parents had tried their best and even had sent him to a psychologist. But the horrible event had affected his life a lot. It had been the reason why he had decided to become a CSI. Danny tried to suppress all the old memories and the feelings they brought with them. But no matter what he had tried, they had come back; sometimes a simple talk with Mac had been enough to remind him.

Danny had always lived with the knowledge that the man who had once tried to kill him, was still out there, and could possibly return some time. With time he had thought about this possibility less and less, wishing that this person would stay away. Now, 14 years later, he seemed to be back, and what happened was even worse than Danny had ever expected. He hadn't just attacked him, but also one of the most important people in his life.

Danny's first reaction had been a strong feeling of guilt. Mac had tried to explain that the shooting hadn't been his fault, and Danny's mind was telling him the same. But even though he might not be guilty, he still felt responsible for Lindsay, and for what happened to them. Maybe it hadn't been his fault. But Danny was determined to first not let anything happen to her again and second to finally end this nightmare which had followed him since he was a teenager.

Although Danny knew he couldn't do much in his current situation, he made a clear decision. He didn't want to run away anymore. He was ready to face his past, even though it might hurt. And the first step would be telling Lindsay what exactly had happened to them and why.

After he had asked the doctor for a second visit, Danny could feel nervousness rising inside him when he walked to his friend's hospital room again. The last time he had walked through this door, he had been excited to see her, to talk to her again, hoping that she was okay. His first visit had been more than just enjoyable. Now it was different. And it wouldn't be easy.

The moment he entered the room, Danny saw the smile that lit Lindsay's face. He couldn't help but smile back, although he wasn't in the mood for it.

"Hey," she greeted him. "I was hoping you'd visit me. It's boring here, alone. Unfortunately none of the others have come yet."

"They're busy with finding out why we're here," Danny answered, walking over to her bed, sitting down on the edge. The moment he had answered, he could see how Lindsay's eyes focused on his. It seemed as if she tried to read his mind, and Danny knew which question would come next.

"Why do I have the feeling you know something?" she asked, slightly raising her eyebrows. Danny sighed, taking a deep breathe before he answered.

"Mac was here a few minutes ago. They found out that the gun which had been used to fire the bullets had been used in several older cases. It had nothing to do with the victim we found. There had been a serial killer, around 14 years ago and he hadn't been caught," Danny answered. This short description had been the easier part of this talk. But he knew that this wouldn't be enough.

"The gun has been used by a serial killer before? So many years ago?" Lindsay asked surprised. "But...what has this to do with us? If it has no connection to the case we have been working at, why did he attack us?"

Although Danny knew that the time he'd have to tell her would come, he didn't know what to say, or how to start. He was afraid his emotions could overwhelm him, and showing this in front of her was something he definitely didn't want. He had cried in front of Mac, more than once, but doing it in front of Lindsay was even harder.

"Danny? Are you okay?" Lindsay asked carefully when he hadn't responded after a few minutes. She gently took one of his hands in hers, causing him to finally look at her.

"There's something I have to tell you," he began. Now looking her straight into the eyes, Danny was waiting for any response from her. Lindsay didn't say anything but nodded lightly, showing him she was listening, and so he continued, "This...this shooting has nothing to do with you, but...with me. You remember when I told you that I've gotten shot before?"

Lindsay nodded again. Danny had noticed how her eyes had widened a bit, looking at him concerned, but still didn't say a word. She was patiently waiting for him to continue, and after taking another deep breathe, Danny decided to go on.

"The person who shot me...it was him. It happened 14 years ago. He...he usually killed his victims with a single shot, without them noticing anything. Well, I...I was his last victim. It was late, and I was on my way home. I shouldn't have been out alone that late, but I had missed the last bus and so I had to walk. I'm not sure how long he had been following me. All the time I had the feeling that something was wrong. I...noticed him the moment he was about to shoot me. And he shot. But before he could escape I could see him for a brief moment. I don't know what happened after that. All I know is that I woke up at the hospital later. I had been lucky. Later Mac visited me; he had been working the case. I told him what I had seen, but they still didn't manage to catch him. He just seemed to have disappeared. Nobody heard anything about him. Until...until Mac found out that the attacker's gun had been his."

After ending his story, Danny had to break his eye contact with Lindsay again. He couldn't bear looking at her anymore. It had just been the short version of the story he had told her. He hadn't told her any details, or even anything about how he had felt and what exactly had happened. But it had been enough to make her stare at him in shock. This was a natural reaction, but he wished he didn't have to do that to her. Danny didn't know what Lindsay was thinking about when he told her. The fact that she had gotten shot had been because of his connection to the shooter, who had just decided to come back after so many years for some reason nobody knew about yet. What was she thinking? Or even worse, was she blaming him?

"Danny?" he then heard her asking him, her voice low and soft. She gently squeezed his hand, causing him to look at her again. He could still see the shock in her eyes, but there was something in her eyes that calmed him.

"I'm sorry," was all he managed to say.

"What for?" Lindsay asked, slightly tightening her grip on his hand. "What are you sorry for?"

"I'm not sure," Danny answered honestly. "Because...because of what happened to you. You had nothing to do with all that! Because he almost killed you, and you have to be here now. And because I had to tell you all this..."

"Danny?" Lindsay interrupted him. "Do you hear what you're saying?" When she saw that he didn't understand, she added, "You're blaming yourself for everything, even though nothing of what happened was your fault. Maybe you have a connection to this guy, and maybe he came back because of you and shot us because of you. But this is no reason to feel guilty. You couldn't know that he'd do that, you couldn't even know that he'd come back. You were the victim, Danny, and this is not your fault, okay? There was nothing you could have done. Nothing. And what do you mean with being sorry about telling me all this? Danny, you...you're one of the most important people in my life, and...and I want you to know that you can talk to me about anything. Not only about the good and happy things, also about moments like this."

When Lindsay had ended, she continued staring him straight into his eyes. And this time Danny didn't look away. He hadn't been sure what he had expected her to do. He had hoped that she wouldn't blame him, because he was already blaming himself for everything that had happened just one day ago. But the way she 333 made clear that she didn't think the shooting was his fault and that she wanted him to open up to her, because he was so important to her, had surprised him. The intensity and warmth in her voice, compared with the determination to convince him that there was no need to feel guilty had made him speechless.

But before he could respond anything, Lindsay was faster.

"I'm pretty sure what's going on in your mind," she said, giving him a tiny smile. "I've known you for a year now. The Danny I know always feels responsible. That's why the first thing you did after the shooting was helping me. The fact that he attacked us because of you makes you think that it's your fault, but it's not. I know blaming yourself for things like this is part of your character. But as long as I'll be able to speak, I'll try everything to tell you, to convince you that you're wrong. Maybe this is a very difficult situation, and I can imagine how hard it is for you. But like I said, you're very important to me, more than you know. And we'll handle this together. I'll be there for you, like you've been there for me."

And again Danny couldn't help but stare at her. He was impressed and almost frightened by how good she knew him.

"You're incredible, you know that?" he finally managed to say, causing her to smile.

"I know, that's why you like me so much," she answered boldly, causing him to smile as well.

It wasn't the first time that Lindsay had managed to completely surprise Danny. He had been afraid to tell her about his past and especially about his connection to their attacker. He had expected a lot, but not the calm and understanding reaction he had gotten from her. And for the first time since Mac had told him the horrible news, Danny felt a slight relief inside him. He knew that this case, their case, would be hard to handle, and there was still much he'd have to talk about, things he was still suppressing. And it was for sure that he'd need a while until he'd fully realize that what had happened really wasn't his fault. But he knew, with a friend like her at his side, he'd be able to handle it.


	9. Chapter 9

**A/N: Thank you so much for reviewing! Here's finally the next chapter.**

**Huge thanks to my beta HillHarperHOT!**

Greg Anderson was sitting in his car for a long while now. Since he had arrived, his eyes had been focusing on the entrance of the hospital. And so he of course had seen how the detective had arrived.

Greg knew this detective. He knew him because he had been the one hunting him. But he had never caught him. Everything had worked perfectly for Greg; apart from the bullets, he had never left any evidence at the crime scenes. The city had been in panic, not sure who'd be his next victim.

Greg couldn't help but grin at this memories. He didn't know if he had ever felt that mighty before. An entire metropolis had been shivering at the mentioning of him. Who would be the next teenager he'd shoot? It could have been everyone.

He couldn't deny that this feeling, the feeling of having the power over a whole city, and even the police, had been highly addictive. Even if he had wanted to, he wouldn't have been able to stop it. It had been about killing. It had been about power. Power he had never experiences until he had killed his first victim.

Everything seemed to be perfect for him. Until he had met him. Danny Messer. Yes, he knew his name. He had heard about him in the news. The boy somehow had managed to survive. And as if this hadn't been enough, he had seen him as well.

It had been a shock for Greg. His perfect plan seemed to be ruined. The description of him was everywhere. There was no way he could go on like before. If he didn't want to get caught, he had only one chance. He had to flee, had to leave the city. As hard as it had been for him.

But during the following years, Greg had never been able to forget. The fear that maybe they were still searching for him, was always present in his mind. His victim was still out there. And still a danger for him.

And now, years later, it had become unbearable for him. First because he was a perfectionist. He couldn't leave something he had started unfinished. And second because he had to get rid of the only witness. The only person who'd be able to recognize him even after all the years.

And so Greg had decided to come back, had decided to go back to New York, the city he once had had so much power over. He knew that it was dangerous. He also knew that it was almost stupid to still keep the gun he had used all the years ago. No intelligent killer kept the murder weapon. But he just couldn't give it away.

Greg didn't need long to find his target. For some reason he wasn't surprised that his victim had started working for the man who once had tried to solve his case. Greg had followed him for weeks, always waiting for the right moment. And for the courage to do what, in his eyes, was necessary to finally be free.

And then the day had come. It had been pure coincidence that the detective had appeared at the crime scene with the man who had been shot next to his car. The place at the harbour was quiet. The only problem was the woman, his colleague.

But he didn't need any other witnesses, so there was only one thing he could do. He waited a moment, before he did it. The first bullet hit her. The next hit him. But not like he had planned. Greg had planned that this time he'd do it right. But the only opportunity he got was a shot into the shoulder. With squealing wheels, he had left the crime scene. He didn't have to be a doctor to know that at least his wound wouldn't cause the affect he had hoped for.

Greg had quickly found out in which hospital the two had been brought. He had parked near the entrance, from where he had a good view at the people coming and going. He had seen how some of the detectives had arrived and left. Mac Taylor had arrived twice now. He had looked concerned. Very concerned. Greg didn't know if he had already found out something about who might have shot his two CSIs. But his logic was telling him that he already knew it, because Greg had used the old gun again.

When Taylor had left again, talking into his cell, Greg somehow had been lucky enough to hear some bits of the talk. Something about security to protect the two he had said. Greg knew what this meant. The two had survived. And when the security would arrive, there'd be no chance for him to finish it. Greg had only one chance. And he had to hurry.

Prepared for everything, like always, he reached to the backseat, grabbing the white coat, waiting until Taylor had left in his car. Then he left his car. A slight nervousness was rising inside him when he headed to the entrance and entered the hospital. Some nurses greeted him, none of them seeing that the doctor was no real doctor. Now Greg just had to find the right room.

--

When Mac had left the hospital, talking into his cell, ordering security for his two friends protection, he had seen the black car for the first time. Since he knew that Danny had seen a huge, black car at the crime scene, he had been looking for cars like this.

Now he had discovered one that perfectly fit into this description, and it was parking not far away from the entrance. Was it a coincidence? No, Mac didn't believe that. Trying to seem as disinterested as possible, he went over to his car. He left the parking lot, just to stop his car around the next corner.

If Mac was right, he had to hurry. He left his car again and rushed back around the corner, just to see a person leaving the black car. The person was wearing a white, long coat, on the first look, he looked like a doctor. He headed straight to the entrance. Mac didn't have any doubts that this was the person they were looking for. And he knew what this man wanted.

--

Danny had just left Lindsay's hospital room to go back to his own room. He wished he could have spent more time with her, but the pain killers and his whole shape were exhausting him again, and Lindsay was feeling the same. Finally accepting that there was a reason why he was a patient in the hospital, Danny decided to go back to his room to rest a bit.

All the way to his room, a huge smile was plastered on his face. The talk with Lindsay had been good for him. He had been afraid how she could react, he even had thought about the possibility that she could give him the fault for what had happened.

But she had reacted in the completely opposite way. She had told him that it hadn't been his fault, with so much determination that he couldn't contradict. And she had promised him to be there for him.

This conversation once again had shown him how close they were. He still wasn't completely sure if she was feeling the same strong feelings he had discovered for her. But there definitely was something between them they could work on.

When Danny reached his room, he stopped for a moment. He didn't know why, but for a short moment, his light and happy mood was replaced by a sudden shudder. Something deep inside him was telling him that something was wrong, but he couldn't figure out where this feeling was coming from.

Pushing the thought away, Danny opened the door to his room. The moment he entered it, he realized that his feeling had been right. The moment he saw the man sitting next to his bed, he recognized his visitor. Even after all the years and even though the person had become older, he instantly knew who he was.

"Long time no see," Greg greeted him, looking at him with the same sparkling eyes like he had done years ago.


	10. Chapter 10

**A/N: Thanks to everyone for reviewing and reading. And huge thanks to my beta HillHarperHOT!**

The moment Danny realized who was standing in front of him, he wasn't able to react, or even move. Although the man definitely had become older, his eyes were still the same, with them same cold sparkles in them, making him shudder. Although the shooting had happened so many years ago, Danny could remember it as if it had been yesterday.

"Don't you want to say hello?" Greg asked, standing up from his chair next to the door. "Are you speechless? I can't believe that. You weren't speechless when the detective asked you what you had seen, so why now?"

He made a step into Danny's reaction, causing him to step away towards the hospital bed. For a brief moment his eyes wandered over to where the small button was lying, the button he could use to get help.

"I wouldn't even think about it," Greg said, his voice low and dangerously calm. Danny turned back to him, seeing the gun in the other man's hand. "You'd regret it."

Danny's mind was spinning. He felt like he had felt like around 14 years ago, when he had been a teenager; desperate, not knowing what to do. But he had to act. He didn't need much imagination to know what Greg wanted. He could see it in his eyes. It was the same expression he had that one night; he was ready to kill.

"And what are you going to do?" he finally managed to say. "Don't you think I know you'll kill me anyway?"

Greg laughed dryly, his eyes sparkling even more. "Smart, really. Yes, I'm going to kill you anyway. But it's your decision if you're the only one."

Danny felt cold shivers running down his spine. "What do you mean by that?" he asked, trying to control his voice as good as possible.

Again Greg laughed. "You know what I mean. I'm talking about the woman I shot as well. I know she's here, only a few doors away. You don't want me to kill her, right?"

Danny started to shiver, feeling a mix of fear and anger rising inside him. "You don't want her, right? You want me. So why did you shoot her? And why are you telling me you want to kill her? She didn't see anything, or know anything."

"Yeah, I'm sorry about that," Greg answered sarcastically. "But I couldn't have another witness."

"Oh, really?" Danny hissed, at the thought of Lindsay feeling his first paralysing fear shrinking again. "And now you threaten me with telling me you'll kill her when I call for help? How should I know that you won't do it anyway?"

"You can't know it," Greg agreed, grinning. "But do you really want to risk it? The moment you call for help, I'll shoot. And while the nurses will try to rescue you, I'll already be in her room. And before anyone will know what's going on, she'll be shot as well."

Danny needed his whole willpower to stay calm enough to not freak out. Not just that he had to face one of his biggest fears, the man who once had almost killed him, no, he also had to fight with the possibility that he'd kill the most important person in his life.

"And you won't kill her if I...just stand here, doing nothing?" Danny asked.

"Exactly," Greg answered, making another step into his direction. "I don't need her, like you said, she didn't see anything." He raised his hand, pointing the gun at Danny, his finger already dangerously closing around the trigger.

A sad smile appeared on Danny's face while he look into the muzzle of the gun, before his eyes found Greg's again. "There's one thing I was wondering all the time."

"What?" Greg asked.

"It's simple. Why? Why did you do it? Why did you shoot all the kids? And why did you come back, after all the years? Nobody would have ever found you?" Danny didn't know why he was asking this. Maybe because he wanted to get more time. Maybe because he was hoping that someone might interrupt them? Of course he could still call for help but Greg would shoot anyway. And he didn't have the guarantee that he wouldn't go to Lindsay anyway. But the small chance that he would keep his word.

"That's easy," Greg answered, grinning even more. "It was like an addiction. Everyone was in panic. Because of me. I had the power, the power over a metropolis like New York City. It was just amazing. And about your second question. I came back because I didn't know if you were still searching for me. And because I never leave anything unfinished."

Hearing Greg's last sentence, Danny's eyes widened in shock. He never left anything unfinished? This was one explanation why he might want to shoot him. But there was also another attempt at murder he had committed. Something he possibly would want to finish as well, despite what he was saying.

Greg, who had noticed the look in Danny's eyes, laughed. "Oh, I'm sorry. Did I say too much? Well, to be honest, I didn't really get why you believed that I wouldn't kill her as well. But this doesn't matter anymore."

With that he closed his finger around the trigger. The sound of a shot echoed through the room. Danny just stared at Greg, straight into his eyes, not able to move. He saw the look in the man's eyes changing, from triumph to shock. Everything seemed to happen in slow motion when he dropped the gun, raising his hand to press it against his shoulder, against the gunshot wound, before he collapsed.

Danny hadn't noticed how Mac had approached, had stopped near the door. Mac knew what Greg had wanted to do and followed him. And he had been right. He had found Greg, pointing his gun at Danny. Mac hoped to save the situation in another way, but when he realized that it was escalating, he hadn't had another chance than shooting. Within a second, he was next to Greg, grabbing him and handcuffing him.

"Are you okay?" he asked Danny, who was still standing there, staring at him and the attacker.

"Sure," Danny answered, shaking his head to clear his mind. "Mac, I...can I...go? I need to...see...her. Please."

Mac nodded understanding. "I'll come to you later. I'll need your statement."

Danny just nodded at that and then almost fled out of the room. On his way to Lindsay's room, he could feel his racing heart slowly calming down. He was slowly realizing what had happened just seconds ago. He had been in a horrible fear, waiting for the moment his attacker would pull the trigger, knowing that hed go to Lindsay as well. He had been in one of the most desperate situations in his life until Mac entered the room and arrested Greg. After all the years, his nightmare, and the steady fear that his shooter could return, had finally ended. There was nobody anymore who could be a danger to him.

When he reached Lindsay's room, he almost stormed into it. Danny didn't pay attention to her surprised look and her 'hello, are you okay?'. He just went over to her and pulled her into his arms, holding her as tight as he could.


	11. Chapter 11

**A/N: Wow, again thank you so much for all the reviews! Thank you!**

**Huge thanks to my beta HillHarperHOT!**

Danny didn't know how long he had held Lindsay in his tight embrace. Even if he had wanted to, he hadn't been able to let her go. There were a lot of feelings rushing through him; he was relieved, scared, panicked and happy, all at the same time. He was surprised by the fact that he had almost been killed didn't scare him as much as the thought that Greg had wanted to shoot her as well.

The image of Greg going to her, killing her, while he wouldn't have been able to do anything about it, had been one of the most horrible images of his life. It was coming close to what he had experienced when he had faced Greg for the first time.

But now Greg was no danger anymore. Mac had arrested him, had finally ended his years of nightmares. He was safe again. And she was, too.

It felt like ages until Danny finally pulled back, loosening his tight grip, looking at Lindsay for the first time since he had entered her room. He looked straight into her huge eyes, which were looking at him with an expression of confusion and fear.

"What happened?" she asked, her voice shaking lightly. "I heard a shot. What happened, Danny?"

Danny needed a moment before he was able to answer. His mind was still spinning, and his strong emotions were almost overwhelming him. He needed to clear his mind, to concentrate to tell her what had happened just a few minutes ago.

"It was the guy who attacked us. It was the one who had tried to shoot me years ago," he then managed to say. When he saw how Lindsay's eyes widened even more, pure shock visible in them, he quickly added, "You surely can imagine why he came here. He came a few minutes after Mac left, I think. He was already there when I entered the room. But...for some reason Mac came back and surprised him, and he managed to arrest him, but he had to shoot him, in the shoulder."

This was the very short version of what had happened. But Danny thought that with that she knew enough. She knew that the guy, who had attacked them, had been his shooter. And she knew that he had appeared at the hospital, to finish what he had started, and had now been arrested by Mac. In his eyes, there was no need to tell her what Greg had said, or how he had threatened him. And there was also no need to tell her about the intense feelings this situation had caused inside him.

"Are you sure you're okay?" Lindsay asked, slightly raising her eyebrows at him while watching him closely.

"Of course I'm okay. Mac just came in at the right moment," Danny answered. Lindsay still didn't seem to be convinced.

"Are you really sure? Because...well, maybe you're not physically hurt. But...this doesn't mean anything."

Seeing the concern in her eyes, Danny felt an intense, warm feeling rising inside him. She was worried, and he almost got the feeling that somehow she had the gift to read his mind. There was no way he could hide anything in front of her, even though he had tried to not seem to affected. But if he was honest, he was at a point where he had not the slightest idea how he was actually feeling.

"I'll be okay, really," he promised. She nodded slightly, giving him a tiny smile.

"That's good. But we both know that it'll need some time. So don't force yourself to feel good again. You'll need some time to get over this," she answered.

Listening to her, Danny didn't have to think twice about her statement, noticing the deeper meaning of it. This statement, combined with what she had said earlier when she had learned about his shooting and combined with her behaviour sometimes made it clear to him that there was indeed something she was hiding. Something that had a deeper meaning to her, and it didn't seem to be something good.

Actually Danny had planned to wait, to not ask her yet. But she knew a lot about him now, and the thought that there had to be memories hurting her as much as his had hurt him, made him want to know what had happened, and if he could do anything.

"You know what you're talking about?" he asked. He instantly noticed the change in her expression.

"I'd say we should concentrate on you at the moment," she simply answered. In a softer tone, she added, "You know, I'll be there whenever you need me. Don't be afraid to ask."

Danny watched her for a moment before he nodded. The determination in her voice made it clear to him that now definitely wasn't the right time to talk about her past. Especially not only minutes after what had just happened to him. Danny was still driven by adrenaline. But he knew that after a while, and after he calmed down again, the realization of the former events would hit him, would hurt even more.

Only a couple of minutes later, Mac entered Lindsay's room. From the look on her face he could tell that Danny already had told her what had happened, and so he thought it wasn't necessary to tell her again. He asked Danny to come with him, glad when his younger colleague followed him willingly. Even though he was a grown-up man, Danny sometimes was stubborn like a child. But not this time.

When they entered Danny's room again, he felt a sudden shudder. He remembered how shocked he had been the moment he had recognized his shooter. He still couldn't entirely believe that this nightmare, that had been following him since he had been a teenager, was really over now.

"Are you okay?" Mac asked, interrupting Danny in his thoughts, when he saw the pale face of his friend.

Danny nodded lightly. "Of course I'm okay. Why is everyone asking that? I'm good. You finally caught him, there's no need to worry anymore."

Mac didn't respond to that. He knew it was unnecessary. He knew Danny wouldn't admit that what he had just experienced had been traumatic. Maybe he didn't know that yet. But he would feel it later. Mac just hoped that it wouldn't be too hard for him.

While Danny lay down in his bed again, Mac sat down on the chair next to him, waiting a while until he started to speak. He asked him about what exactly had happened after he had entered his room again, and what Greg had said. Danny told him everything he could remember, surprised by the fact that he really needed to concentrate to remember. Something inside him tried to push the memories away, like the first time Greg had attacked him. But Danny knew that this wouldn't work, like it hadn't worked for the first time.

"And you told Lindsay everything that happened?" Mac asked after ending his questioning. Danny nodded.

"Yes. Well, not every detail, I think she...doesn't really have to know exactly what he had planned."

"Okay, I think she knows enough," Mac answered, seeing the relief in his friend's eyes. But there was also something else, something he couldn't clearly figure out yet.

"You know, you don't have to worry anymore," he added. "We won't let him escape. He'll get what he deserves, and he won't come back."

"I know," Danny answered, only half paying attention to what Mac was saying.

He was glad when Mac didn't continue questioning him. Danny could feel the effect he had already waited for. He was calming down again. And he started to think. He started to think about the dangerous situation he had been in. For some reason he had always known that he'd have to face his attacker again some time. But he hadn't expected it happening like this. He hated the fact that Lindsay had gotten involved as well. She hadn't done anything. And he couldn't stop thinking about this.


	12. Chapter 12

**A/N: Thanks for reviewing! Huge thanks to my beta HillHarperHOT!**

When Lindsay found out that the person, who attacked them, had been arrested, she was relieved. The only problem she had with it was what had happened to Danny. She knew how he must have felt after he had been shot when he was a teenager; facing this person again had to be like a horrible nightmare. Especially, when this person had threatened him again.

Lindsay knew that what Danny was showing to their friends, and even to her, was just a mask, behind which he was hiding. There was no way the earlier events could not have had an effect on him. But from what she knew about him, it was clear to her that he didn't want to show his feelings, maybe even didn't want to accept them himself.

But Lindsay also had noticed something else. Danny wasn't just hiding his real feelings, pretending as if everything was okay. She also realized that he started to keep her at a distance. He visited her every day, and was happy when she finally was able to visit him in his room as well. But the intense nearness they had right after the shooting seemed to disappear again. There was barely any closeness between them, especially no further body contact. And it was obvious that this was caused by him.

At the beginning Lindsay just told herself that he needed time, needed to get over what he had experienced. But when this didn't change, his behaviour started to confuse her. Why he was suddenly keeping her away from him, after they had been so close before? Had she just imagined everything? No, this couldn't be true.

Lindsay didn't know if she should just ask him what was going on, but she knew that she wouldn't get any answers. She knew him well enough to be sure that he'd pretend to be surprised, telling her that there was nothing wrong between them. And so she decided to just wait and see, hoping that his behaviour would change again.

But it didn't. A long while passed until the two could finally leave the hospital. In some way it was a good feeling to be back home, but it also had its disadvantages. Now Lindsay couldn't just go over to him to see him. She was afraid that this would make the distance between them grow.

And she was right with it. Although Danny and her didn't have to work the first days after they had left the hospital, she didn't hear anything from him, or see him. And it was making her worry even more. She needed to talk to him.

And so, after two days of not hearing anything from him, she called him.

"Hey Danny," she greeted him when he answered the phone, trying to sound as happy as possible.

"Lindsay? Hey. What can I do for you?" he asked, sounding a bit confused.

"Oh, uh...I...need your help here. Could you maybe...come over to my place?" she asked, cursing herself for not making a plan before she called him.

"Sure", he answered after a brief moment of hesitating. I'll be there in around half an hour.

"Thanks," Lindsay answered satisfied. She knew he'd instantly find out that there was actually nothing she needed him to do. But she wouldn't let him go until she got answers.

Around half an hour later, Lindsay's doorbell rang. She let Danny in, a bit nervous while thinking about what she could say or ask.

"So what did you want me to do?" Danny asked.

"Actually nothing," Lindsay answered, a bit insecure. "All I want you to do is...talk to me."

She saw how he raised his eyebrows at her. "That's why you wanted me to come here? We could have talked on the phone."

The way he said it, it sounded pretty harsh, but the look Lindsay saw in his eyes, revealed that he was feeling in a completely different way. This first confused her even more. But she already had a light idea of what could be going on with him.

"Yeah, maybe. But you would have behaved like always. Pretending that everything's great although it isn't. Danny, I'm not stupid. Don't you think I noticed that you started to step away from me? And I don't understand why you're doing this. All the time before you always were near me, we joked and had fun together. And then, after everything was okay again, you started to keep me on distance? Why? Did I miss something?"

Lindsay could see the uncomfortable look in Danny's eyes and she knew that maybe she was pushing him. But she was worried and afraid, and she needed to make him talk, even if it was hard.

"Lindsay, I...I don't want to push you away," he answered after a few moments of hesitation. "It's just...I can't just...I know how close we were, but now...I'm sorry, I just can't do that. It's not because of you, it's my fault, and I don't want to..."

He stopped again. Seeing him like this, being so insecure and sad, Lindsay felt a sharp pain in her heart. She didn't know for sure what was going on, but she had an idea of it. Maybe she was wrong. But she knew how she had acted after what had happened to her. And this was a possible explanation for his behaviour.

"Danny," she said quietly, walking over to him. "I don't want to push you. I know what happened was horrible, and it brought back a lot of memories..."

"It's not just that," Danny answered, stepping backwards when she reached him. And then it burst out of him. "Lindsay, I...I don't want to hurt you, okay? That's the least I want to do. And that's why I'm doing this. I'm afraid you could get hurt because of me again. I don't want this, okay? You...you got shot because of me. He wanted me, and attacked you as well, even though you had done nothing. I...I can't let this happen again."

With that he passed her, quickly walking into the direction of the door. "I think I should go now."

But Lindsay was faster. With two long steps she reached the front door, stepping between it and him.

"You won't go anywhere," she said determined, looking him straight into the eyes.

Danny groaned lightly. "Please, Lindsay, don't let us fight. Please let me go."

But this was the least she was going to do. Not without saying what she had to say.

"So you want to run away? You think that's the easiest way, right? You don't want me to get hurt? Because of you? Listen Danny, first, what happened wasn't your fault. How often do you want me to repeat that? It was his fault! He shot me, he shot you. He was a damn serial killer, he didn't care about anything! And second, do you know that your behaviour hurts much more than anything else that could happen? You know I don't blame you, why should I? This guy attacked us, not you. You were the victim, Danny, when will you finally believe that? But you know what? I did what I could. I can't force you. You want to run away? Good, go. But then you don't have to come back again. You want me to stay away so that I can't get hurt? Great, but then I don't want to have any contact to you anymore. Never."

She was still staring him straight into the eyes. Lindsay knew her words had been harsh, but she didn't see another way how to convince him, how to change his mind. She was half expecting him to go. But he didn't move. Instead of that he finally held their eye contact, without trying to look away.

"You know I can't just go now, right?" he said. "You know the last thing I want is to lose you. But...don't you understand why I'm afraid?"

"Of course I understand," Lindsay answered honestly. "But this is no solution. We should handle this together, Danny. We both know there is something between us. And we shouldn't run away."

He looked at her for a moment until a sudden, tiny smile started to light his face. "You sure you really want that? You aren't afraid it could go wrong?"

Lindsay shook her head. "I'm not afraid. It's worth it."

When she saw how Danny's smile widened, Lindsay smiled as well. She knew, although she had been pretty hard to him, it had helped him. She also knew that he wouldn't just stop blaming himself, or being afraid. But it was a beginning. And they would handle this, together. Even if it had to be a long difficult way.


	13. Chapter 13

**A/N: Thank you so much to my reviewers for reviewing and supporting me! You're the best!**

**Huge thanks to HillHarperHOT for beta'ing!**

It was the middle of the night. And although Lindsay was tired, she couldn't fall asleep. She was lying on her side, watching Danny on the bed next to her. He was deep asleep, looking peaceful, almost like a child. But Lindsay knew that in his mind, it looked differently.

Her spontaneous action to tell him to come over to her place because she needed his help had been successful. She had finally gotten the chance to talk to him, to find out what was going on inside him. First he had tried to deny everything, but then had finally opened up and told her that he was simply afraid. Afraid that she could be hurt again.

Lindsay hadn't lied when she had said that it definitely hadn't been his fault, and that there was no need to blame himself. Of course she knew that this was easier said than done, she knew it from own experiences. But at least he believed her, and they could work on this.

But his guilty feelings were not everything that burdened him. They hadn't talked much about it, but Lindsay could imagine that during the years after this attack he had tried to suppress the memories of it as good as possible. But the shooting had brought them all back, and the fact that his attacker had been back, to kill him and also to kill her, had made it even worse. What happened at the crime scene and in the hospital had been very traumatic especially compared with the events from his past.

What worried her most was that he didn't talk. Lindsay knew how hard it was to talk about traumatic experiences. But she also knew how important it was to not suppress them, because some day the memories would come back. She carefully tried to make him talk, but he blocked her tries every time. Even the day before. He had stayed at her apartment after their conversation. There had been random things they had talked about, but whenever they got closer to the shooting, Danny tried to change the topic.

But the effect, the whole situation had on him, was clearly visible. Lindsay suggested that he could stay and sleep at her place. Even though they hadn't even kissed yet, and sharing the same bed was something intimate, she didn't want to let him go again. Danny had hesitated for a moment, but then had agreed to stay.

But convincing Danny to go to bed, because they still needed to get sleep before they wanted to go back to work, was more difficult. She knew the reason why he wanted to stay awake. She had been shot as well, and she had noticed most of the events caused by the shooting, she couldn't sleep well at night, sometimes even having nightmares. It was no surprise that he was afraid to go to sleep, knowing what was awaiting him in his dreams.

They stayed awake awhile, until they had hardly been able to keep their eyes open. Now they were lying in bed for around an hour. Danny had managed to fall asleep, but Lindsay was still fully awake. Many thoughts were spinning in her mind. Most of them had to do with Danny. She was still impressed by how much she cared about him. Of course they had always had a close friendship, getting along very well since her first day in New York. But the latest events had shown her that obviously there was a lot that she didn't know yet. When she remembered how he had tried to help, to protect her at the crime scene, not paying any attention to his own wounds, she felt an intense warm feeling rising inside her. When she thought about what had happened to him as a teenager and then later, she felt responsible for him and wanted to comfort, to protect him. And then there was this strong tension between them. Yes, she felt a lot, and much deeper feelings than she had thought.

But Lindsay also thought about her own past. She hadn't told anyone about it yet, apart from Mac, who of course knew about it. Now Danny also knew that she was hiding something from him, a secret that she still couldn't talk about, affecting her a lot and still causing her nightmares. She knew that some day she'd have to tell him everything. She knew about his past, and he'd want to know about hers, and if he was only half as determined as she was, there was no way to get out of it without talking. Lindsay couldn't deny that she was afraid about the thought of it. But she and Danny were building a strong bond between them, obviously far crossing the line of friendship. When he was honest, she had to do the same.

Another half an hour later, Lindsay finally managed to fall asleep as well. But her sleep didn't last long. A little while later, she woke up again. She didn't exactly know what had woken her up, but deep inside she thought that something was wrong. She turned around, instantly discovering the other side of her bed empty. Without hesitating a moment, Lindsay jumped out of her bed. Hoping that Danny didn't just leave to go back home, she wanted to rush into her living room, but stopped in her doorway.

Relieved she sighed, noticing her friend, sitting on one of her couches. He didn't react to her when she entered the room and walked over to him. He didn't even move when she sat down next to him. Lindsay watched him for a couple of minutes, waiting for some kind of reaction from him, but he didn't even move a tiny bit.

"Are you okay?" she then asked, already expecting his answer, but not knowing how else to start a conversation with him. "Did you have a nightmare or something?"

Danny just shrugged, this time at least looking at her, a tired and sad look in his eyes. Lindsay kept their eye contact for a moment, trying to signal that she was there for him.

"Danny, I know, it's hard. Of course I understand that you'd rather forget everything, and don't want to be reminded of what happened in your past and what happened now. But...suppressing your memories won't help you. And...I know how hard it is, when you try to go back to a normal life, but you just can't, your memories and nightmares haunting you," she started again. "I know how you feel."

"Oh yeah, do you?" he asked back, looking her straight into the eyes. "You know how I feel?"

"Yes," Lindsay answered, nodding hesitatingly.

"Because from what you just said, you must have experienced something horrible, as well. But you don't want to talk about it, right? So why should I? Just because you found out everything because this guy came back? You want me to talk to you, but you still keep everything as a secret."

Lindsay wasn't able to respond to this in the first moment. This sudden reaction had completely surprised her. But she couldn't deny that he was right. How could she tell him to open up when she wasn't able to do it as well? But she knew he had to talk. And maybe she had to do the same.

"You want to know what happened?" she asked him, feeling a slight fear rising inside her, the same fear she had felt all the times before when she had had to talk about her past.

When Danny nodded, Lindsay closed her eyes and took a deep breath, trying to stay calm. Then she started to talk.


	14. Chapter 14

**A/N: Thanks for reviewing. Thanks to HillHarperHOT for beta'ing!**

"I was 16, like you, when it happened," Lindsay started. It was hard for her to talk about what had happened so many years ago. She had tried to avoid talking about it as often as she could. But she knew it was important that she opened up, for Danny and for herself.

"It was the evening after our last day at school. My friends, Kelly, Amanda and Sharon, and I, wanted to celebrate the beginning of our vacation. So we went to our favourite place, a diner. We were laughing and talking, didn't pay any attention to how late it was. All guests had left, only we were left, and Sarah, the waitress. We just didn't want this evening to end. We were talking about our plans for the holidays, and how much we'd miss each other. We wanted to spend as much time together as possible. Somewhere along the line, I...I went to the bathroom. I could hear them. But...but then it happened. And it...changed everything."

Lindsay's voice trailed off, all memories returning. She had tried to suppress them and had been pretty successful with it over the years. Now they were coming back, and it was unbearable for her. She looked up, meeting Danny's eye, who was patiently waiting for her to continue. He didn't say a word, but his eyes were speaking to her, telling her that he could understand her pain. And she continued.

"I...I remember how I heard the bells at the door. Someone must have entered the diner. I didn't pay much attention to it. Until I...I heard the first shot. And then another. And two more shots followed, and my friends were screaming. I...I was paralysed, shocked. I...I didn't know what to do. I sat down on the floor, pressing my hands against my ears. I was so afraid. I...sat there for a while. And then, I don't know why, but I moved over to the door and opened it a bit, and...I saw him. I saw a man, covered in blood, holding a gun. I stayed in the bathroom, praying that he wouldn't find me, until I could hear the door bells again. I...I left the bathroom, and...found them. My friends and Sarah, he had shot them all. Their blood was everywhere. I...I remember I called the police. But...I'm not sure what happened after that."

When Lindsay had finished, she was crying. She desperately pressed her hands against her eyes, fighting with the strong emotions the memories of the shooting were causing inside her, trying to push them out of her mind again, which she knew was impossible.

Danny remained in his seat for a moment, silently watching her. He was pale, shocked by what he had just heard. She had witnessed the murder of her friends, and had been the only survivor. He could understand how she must have felt, how she must have felt during the last years and how she was feeling now. And it was breaking his heart.

When Lindsay's crying didn't become less but instead of that increased, he moved closer to her. He carefully pulled her into his arms, allowing her to pull back. When she didn't, he pulled her as tight into his arms as possible, feeling how she grabbed his shirt, holding herself pressed against him.

They sat like this for a long while, neither of them speaking a single word. Danny was gently rubbing her back, holding her tight. He knew exactly what she was feeling at this particular moment, and he knew all she needed was the feeling that he was there. He didn't know exactly how she had handled this traumatic situation, but he suspected that she had done the same as him; had tried to push it away, act like nothing had ever happened. But this hadn't helped her, and right now he thought it'd be the best for her to give her memories access to her mind, even if it hurt. And he'd be there to help her get through it.

And while thinking about what'd be the best for Lindsay, the realisation suddenly hit him. He looked down at the small woman, clinging to him, and a tiny smile lit his face. Once again he realized how smart she was. She had told him her own horrible experiences, because he had asked her to, and because she knew about his past as well. But he was sure that there had also been another reason.

She wanted to make a point. She wanted to show him how similar they were, with what had happened to them but also with the way they tried to live with their past. They had done the same; experienced something that was so horrible they'd never be able to forget it, but had tried. They both had tried to forget what had happened, had tried to move on instead of working on their traumatic past.

Danny hadn't been able to realize that suppressing and ignoring his problems wouldn't help him. But seeing the same reaction from Lindsay, he started to understand that she was right. He had to talk. About what he was feeling, about what he had felt. Like her. Of course it'd hurt, but somewhere along the line it'd help.

Danny waited until Lindsay's crying had almost stopped before he started to speak again.

"Maybe I agree with you now. Your suggestion was good actually," he said.

Lindsay moved a bit until she was looking up at him with a questioning look. "What do you mean?"

"You remember what you told me? You told me to talk to you. I think you're right. Maybe I should really do that. But only as long as you do the same."

A little smile lit Lindsay's face when moved pack into a sitting position, looking him straight into the eyes. "That's a good compromise I think."

Danny nodded satisfied. "Okay, I think we have a deal. We'll talk. Honestly. But I'd say now we should go back to bed, and do it when we're awake enough and have a quiet minute."

"Sounds good to me," Lindsay agreed.

They stood up and headed back into her bedroom. Lindsay was still affected by her memories, not sure if she'd be able to sleep tonight. Danny was having the same problem, not sure if he'd have another nightmare again. But this time neither of them was afraid. Because no matter how they'd feel during the night, they weren't alone. They had each other, a friend who'd be there, comforting and caring.


	15. Chapter 15

**A/N: Thank you so much for reviewing! And of course huge thanks to my beta HillHarperHOT!**

When Danny woke up the next morning, he still felt affected, but also relieved. The intense conversations with Lindsay helped him a lot. He needed time to realize how right she was. He hadn't been able to see that his own behaviour wasn't helping him, but when he saw Lindsay acting the same way, he understood what she told him. They needed to face their past. It'd be painful, but at least they could do it together.

He rolled onto his side, watching Lindsay lying next to him. She was tightly wrapped into her blanket, looking peaceful and calm. He remembered the night before, when she opened up to him. He had had a nightmare before, but it was instantly forgotten when he listened to what she had to say. He had seen the incredible pain in her eyes, suppressed over all the years and now coming back with so much force. He could completely understand her, and he wished he could do something to ease her pain, to make it more bearable. But it wouldn't work. All he could do, was, what she was doing for him; simply be there.

Now she was sleeping calm, and Danny was grateful that obviously neither of them had any more nightmares. He carefully sat up, thinking about making some breakfast for them. But before he could even stand up, he felt how she lightly grabbed his arm. When he turned around to her again, he saw that she had opened her eyes, looking at him.

"Where are you going to?" she asked sleepily.

"I just thought I could make breakfast for us," he answered. A tiny smile lit her face.

"You don't have to do that. I'll get up, just give me a minute."

But Danny shook his head. "No, you'll stay here; I'll go get us breakfast. And don't contradict."

Lindsay laughed, but indeed stayed in bed and Danny left to go into the kitchen. He quickly found everything he needed and started. While cooking, his thoughts started to drift away again. He was standing in Lindsay's kitchen now, making breakfast, while she was lying in her bed, waiting for him. Sure, there nothing had really happened between them yet, but that they were very close neither of them could deny.

They had always been close, but the shooting had brought them even closer. Danny didn't just feel responsible for her, and wanted to protect her. He learned how much she meant to him, and how strong the tension between them was. What they had was more than just friendship. But although he knew he had feelings for her, and he definitely could imagine more happening between them, he didn't know if he was ready to take this step yet. Although he wanted it, something was holding him back.

When he came back into the bedroom, Lindsay was already awaiting him. She didn't look sleepy anymore, obviously being fully awake. She was smiling at him, instantly causing an intense warmth inside him. He sat the plate next to her and climbed back into the bed.

"So breakfast in bed. I haven't had that in a while," she said, taking her own plate. "And I have no idea when I had a man in my bed for the last time."

Danny laughed, but also felt that he was blushing slightly. "Yes, same with me."

"What?" Lindsay asked, surprised raising her eyebrows. "You can't remember your last girlfriend? Sorry, I really don't believe that."

Danny blushed even more. "Why? It's true, I didn't have a girlfriend for a long while."

"What does 'a long while' mean?"

"'A long while' means half a year."

Lindsay's eyes widened. "Half a year? Wow. May I ask if there's a special reason for that?"

Danny shook his head. "No special reason. I just...wasn't in the mood for it."

"I see," Lindsay replied, seeming not really convinced.

But actually Danny was saying the truth. He really hadn't been in the mood for it. But there was a reason for that. For some reason he couldn't focus on other women. Women other than her. Because although he had always said she was nothing more than a friend, he started to compare her with the women he met. And neither of them seemed to be like her, so he quickly lost interest in them. But he wouldn't tell her about that. Not yet.

"And why didn't you have a boyfriend for a while?" he asked back. Actually he wanted to drop this topic, because it was getting too intimate for his taste. But he also wanted to keep this light conversation running. They'd find the right moment for having a serious talk, for talking about what they were feeling and about how their past affected them. But now he wanted them to just enjoy talking and being together, keeping their light mood, especially after such an emotional evening and night. "And don't tell me you didn't find a guy who wants you, because that I don't believe."

Now it was Lindsay's turn to blush. "I think it's because of the same reason you said. I wasn't in the mood for it."

Danny nodded, slightly raising his eyebrows at him. He wondered if it was really because of the reason he had mentioned. But maybe this was also just wishful thinking.

They continued their breakfast, talking about random topics. After all the intense talks they had had before, it was a nice and relieving feeling to have some fun together. But as nice as their morning was, Danny had to go home again. When he told Lindsay about that, he saw a sight expression of disappointment appearing on her face. But she didn't say anything and led him to her front door. But before Danny left, he turned back to her again.

"I'm glad you told me to come over to your place last evening," he said. "You were right, we should talk more. I feel much better now."

"Me, too," she agreed.

"I hope you know I'll always be there for you, like you are for me," Danny replied.

Lindsay just nodded at that. She was looking him straight in the eyes now, and Danny could feel shivers running down his spine. He was impressed and surprised by the intense feelings flowing between them. He could feel the wish to move over to her, to just pull her into his arms, holding her, maybe even kissing her. And the look, she gave him, told him she wouldn't disagree.

"I think I'll go now," he managed to say, hardly able to break their eye contact.

"Okay," she replied quietly.

With that Danny left Lindsay's apartment. Deep inside he cursed himself for not using this chance. But he hadn't been able to do what he had wanted to do. Not yet.


	16. Chapter 16

**A/N: Thanks for reading and reviewing and for adding the story to your favourites and alerts. :) And thanks to HillHarperHOT for beta'ing!**

When Danny arrived at home, he was frustrated. He and Lindsay had been so close, more than once, and the tension between them was increasing. So what was holding him back? They had opened up to each other, and were both attracted to each other. Why couldn't he take the next step? He had never been afraid to do it. Until now.

It wasn't because he didn't know if she was feeling the same. Actually he was pretty sure she did, according to the way she acted around him and she took care of him. Of course they'd start it slow, but somehow the thought of getting closer to her was frightening him. Before he left her apartment, he had been so close to even kissing her. But then he had fled.

At home, Danny was unsure about what to do next. He was confused by himself. On the one side he wanted to be close to Lindsay, truthfully, he even wanted to be together with her. But right now it seemed to be impossible for him.

After a brief moment of thinking, he headed towards his bathroom, deciding that maybe a shower could make him feel better. But before he even reached the bathroom door, his door bell rang. Sighing, he walked back into his living room and over to his front door. He didn't know who could be visiting him, and actually he didn't really care.

"Hey," he was greeted by Flack.

"Hey," Danny greeted back, stepping aside so that his friend could come in. "What are you doing here?"

"You're not happy to see me?" Flack replied, smiling at his friend. Although Danny hadn't said a word yet, he could imagine something was wrong.

"I'm sorry, Don," Danny answered, trying to smile as well, but wasn't really successful. "I'm just...it's...I don't know."

"Ookay. Maybe you want to talk about it?" Flack suggested, sitting down in the living room.

"Why does everyone want me to talk?" Danny answered, walking over to Flack to sit down across him.

"Maybe it's easier to share your thoughts with your best friend. Maybe I can help you."

"You can't, all you're able to do is change my mind," Danny replied, sighing. He looked at Flack, who didn't respond but waited for him to continue. He knew there was no way to get out of this conversation without talking. Flack was one of the few people Danny trusted in, and maybe he was right; maybe he could really help him.

"The last time was just...way too much," he started. "I mean, first the shooting, and the fact that Lindsay was attacked as well. Then this damn guy came back and tried to shoot me again. But...that's not everything. I don't know what you think about Lindsay...and me."

Danny stopped, looking at Flack for a response. Flack slightly raised his eyebrows, a light smile appearing on his lips. "I think you know what I think about the two of you. If you don't finally move on, I'll go crazy."

"Well, now I would say you're not that wrong," Danny answered. When he saw the excited look on Flack's face, he quickly continued, "In the hospital, after the shooting, we...were kinda close. We talked a lot, and...I never thought I care so much for her. She means a lot to me. And I think she's feeling the same. But I just can't go on. I can't do the first step. When we left the hospital, I didn't even call her. Last night was the first time we talked again, because she called me over to her place. And...it helped, it really did. She told me something important, and I realized that I shouldn't shut myself off. I even stayed and slept in her apartment, in her bed. We were so close, but as much as I wanted to, I couldn't get closer to her. I just can't take this step, and I have no idea why."

After saying out loud what he was thinking the whole time, Danny looked at Flack, hoping for an answer that could help him. Flack looked back for a moment before he answered.

"You say you're frightened?" he asked. "Do you know why this could be?"

Danny shrugged. "I'm not sure. Well, to be honest first it was because of I was afraid something could happen to her. Because of me. Like the shooting. But she told me more than once that I shouldn't even think about that."

"I totally agree with her," Flack answered. "Nothing that happened was your fault. You were the victim. And she won't get hurt because of you."

"I know," Danny replied, but didn't sound convinced.

"And what else is making you afraid?" Flack wanted to know.

"I wish I knew," Danny answered, sighing. "I'm afraid to really do it. Maybe because I could ruin it, and everything. And...I'm not sure, Don."

Flack nodded. He waited a moment to give Danny the chance to add something more, but when he didn't, he spoke.

"Well, Danny, I've known you for many years now. Of course I can't read your mind, but to be honest, your reactions don't really surprise me." When he saw the confused look Danny gave him, he continued, "You never had something like this. You're good with shutting up, suppressing feelings and running away when it's getting intimate. But now you can't just run away. Because you don't want to lose her. She means a lot to you, and you want to make it right. The least you want is her getting hurt, or hurting her yourself. And you're afraid because she already knows more about you than most other people do. She knows your feelings. And this is frightening you. You're afraid to hurt her or get hurt. That's why you can't get closer to her."

Listening to what his friend was saying, Danny couldn't help but just stare at him for the first moment. He hadn't really been sure if Flack could come up with something that could help him, or at least explain why he acted how the acted. But he didn't have to think long about it to know that Flack had said the truth. Danny had never been that close to a woman before, never had felt so much. He was impressed by the intense feelings she was causing inside him. And afraid that one of them could get hurt. No surprise he was stepping away from her again.

"What could I do about that?" Danny asked.

"Talk," Flack simply answered. "I know, you're no talker. And maybe Lindsay isn't either. But the two of you have to do something, otherwise the thing between you will never work. And this would be a shame. My advice is, tell her what you feel. Or if you can't say it, write a letter or something. But tell her what you feel, and also about your fears, okay?"

Danny hesitated for a moment before he nodded. "I'll try it."

He knew that Flack was right. Danny had to tell Lindsay the truth, although it'd be difficult. But at this moment he didn't know that the talk wouldn't be necessary for him to open up to her and finally take the first step.


	17. Chapter 17

**A/N: Huge thanks to my beta HillHarperHOT.**

After his conversation with Flack, Danny decided that he'd have to talk to Lindsay. She needed to know why he was afraid to just give them a try, although he felt so much for her. All they needed was a quiet moment, with nobody interrupting them. Just the two of them.

But before Danny could even get the chance to ask her if she'd like to meet him again, work was stepping into the way. Many weeks had passed since the shooting, and both Danny and Lindsay had recovered enough to go back to work. Silently they had hoped that their first day back would be easy to handle; maybe they'd spent the day with some paperwork. But they had been wrong.

When Lindsay had arrived at the lab, Stella had instantly taken her with her to a crime scene in a jewellery shop. The assistant manager had been killed during a robbery, which had involved three women who had been dressed like Holly Golightly from "Breakfast at Tiffany's".

Later Danny had joined them as well. When Lindsay had found out that they'd work together at their first day back at work, she had been a bit unsure. Last time they met they had had a few very intense and intimate conversations. She couldn't deny the tension between them, and the fact that it was increasing with every passing moment they spent together. Before he had gone home again, they had gotten pretty close. But then he had just left.

Lindsay wasn't sure what was exactly happening between the two of them. On the one side she thought that it was undeniable that there was more than just friendship between them since the shooting, maybe even longer. But on the other side she wasn't sure how to interpret Danny's behaviour. Did he really want more? And if he did, why did he still keep this distance between them? Was he afraid? Or insecure?

But when he had arrived at the crime scene, the first thing he did was teasing her.

"Don't even think about that, Montana," he had said when he had seen her examining an incredibly expensive necklace.

"This necklace is worth more than I make in a year. Crazy," Lindsay had answered. Inside, she was relieved that he had started a simple, easy going conversation like this.

"I don't see what the big deal is," Danny had answered. "A diamond is just an allotrope of the element carbon."

"Spoken like a true romantic," Lindsay had responded, shaking her head in amusement. This was so typical him. Just an allotrope of the element carbon. Diamonds belonged to the most romantic presents a man could give to a woman. But when she looked at him, she saw how he smiled at her. She had missed that smile. Lindsay didn't know that Danny was planning on having another serious conversation with her, she only enjoyed that the insecurity between was gone, at least for a while.

During their investigations, the team then found out that the case they were working at was not what it had looked like at the beginning. First they had thought that the three women, who had robbed the jewellery shop, had been the only ones involved. But then they had found one of them, Natalie Letterman, dead in her apartment.

Who had killed her? Neither of them could really believe that one of the other two women could be the killer. And then the investigation had taken a sudden turn. There was another person involved. Sid had discovered a trace in Natalie's eyes, which Hawkes had identified as dust coming from a Blood Diamond, from somewhere in Africa. They found out that a man in shop had tried to sell one of those Blood Diamonds in the jewellery shop, right before the three women had robbed the shop. Lindsay, Hawkes and Stella managed to get the name of the man- Mosi Ghedi.

The team had to hurry to find him, expecting him to try to get his Blood Diamonds, which obviously had been robbed as well, back, possibly killing the other women as well. But the moment they arrived at the place where Ghedi's rental car had been found, Stella noticed a young woman, carrying an 'I Love New York' bag, like the robbers. They identify the woman as Beth Larson, who indeed was carrying the stolen jewels in her bag.

But when Stella placed her under arrests, Beth, now in panic, told them that Ghedi had taken her other friend, Dana, as hostage. She desperately tried to explain that he wanted her to bring him what they had gotten in the robbery; otherwise he'd kill her friend.

The young woman was crying and screaming when the cops took her with them. Realizing what was just happening, Lindsay could feel a strong fear rising inside her. Mosi Ghedi, the man who had already killed Natalie Letterman, now had another hostage and was ready to kill her if he didn't get what he wanted? According to Beth they had only ten minutes to rescue her. Lindsay felt like she was feeling all of Beth's panic as well. The young woman was frightened she could lose her other friend as well. If there was one who could understand this fear, it was her. Lindsay knew what it had felt like when her friends had been shot, and she hadn't had the slightest chance to do anything about it. Although she really couldn't have done anything, she felt guilty anyway. She wished she could have rescued them. Like Beth wanted to rescue Dana.

The situation was getting more and more complicated, with every passing moment, with every second they lost. Using Beth to get Dana was too dangerous. But they also didn't have the time to get an undercover officer. There wasn't much they could do. Until Lindsay suddenly got an idea.

"I could do it," she said. When Stella, Flack and Danny turned around to her, she explained, "They were wearing those costumes, and I am the same size. I could do it."

She stared at Stella, hoping that her friend would agree with this opportunity. It was their only chance. And Stella agreed.

They had to hurry. While Flack and Stella were talking about the plan and about the flash grenade in the bag Lindsay would take with her, Lindsay was getting prepared for her undercover job. She didn't notice Danny, who approached her.

"What do you think you're doing?" he asked her, causing her to turn around. Lindsay noticed the look he was giving her. He was definitely not pleased with her decision.

"Danny, I'll be fine," she said determined.

But Danny wasn't easy to convince. "We have undercovers who can do this, alright, it's not our job."

"Well, it is now. We're out of time. You heard what she said, if we don't get in there in four minutes, her friend dies."

The concern, Lindsay saw in Danny's eyes, was making her wish she could just do what he wanted, leave the job for an undercover agent. But they had no time. They had to rescue the girl.

She knew what else Danny wanted to tell her. He wanted to tell her that she had already been in danger only a couple of weeks ago. He didn't want her to be killed because of something like that. But he also knew how stubborn she was. He had to accept what she was doing.

And so Lindsay went upstairs to the apartment where they knew Mosi Ghedi was in. Her heart was racing. The fact that her friends would do anything to protect her wasn't really helping. But she knew what she had to do. She wouldn't let Ghedi kill Beth's friend.

And so she knocked at the door. A moment later, the door was opened by a man and she was told to raise her arms and turn around. Then she was allowed to enter the apartment. Taking a deep breath, she did what she was told to. When she entered the living room, she saw a girl, sitting on a chair, bound to it, next to her Mosi Ghedi, armed. Lindsay knew how dangerous this situation was, and that the chances he'd notice she wasn't Beth were high. But, driven by her adrenalin, Lindsay didn't care.

When Ghedi asked her who she was, Lindsay, trying to control her voice as good as possible, answered, "I'm Beth. Here's all the stuff we took."

Lindsay didn't know which reaction she had hoped for. But what Ghedi then did was the least she had expected. He took a picture from the table behind Dana, looking first at it, then at Lindsay, before he slammed it back onto the table.

"Who are you?!" he asked again, pointing his gun at her.

A flash of shock rushed through Lindsay's body. He knew. He knew she wasn't Beth. Maybe he even knew she was a cop. And now he'd kill them. But Lindsay wouldn't let him. She wouldn't let him kill her, and Dana. She wouldn't accept such a situation again. Not as long as she was able to do something.

And so she raised her hand, holding her bag, her eyes focused on Ghedi's all the time. Then she dropped it. The moment the bag got in contact with the floor, Lindsay jumped forward, pulling Dana down from her chair, just in time when the flash grenade exploded, turning everything into chaos.

Lindsay's mind was spinning. Everything around her was dusty and dizzy, her ears hurting. She quickly checked if Dana was okay, while the team stormed into the apartment, arresting Ghedi and his men. Everything was loud, everyone was screaming. Lindsay was hardly able to focus on anything. Except one voice she immediately recognized.

"Lindsay!" she could hear a familiar voice shouting. "Lindsay!"

"Danny!" she shouted back, turning around into the direction where his voice was coming from, grateful noticing him approaching her.

She quickly stood up. When Danny reached her, he instantly pulled her into a tight, comforting embrace.

"Thank God," he whispered into her ear, pulling her back a bit to check if she was okay. "You alright?"

"Yeah," Lindsay simply answered.

They stared at each other for a brief moment, before Danny pulled her back into his arms, holding her as tight as he could while her hands grabbed his vest. Neither of them knew how long they had stood like this, until Danny pulled her to him and whispered in her ear again.

"Let's get out of here," he whispered. Lindsay just nodded, following him out of the apartment. He was holding her tight against him the whole time 'til they reached the street. But before he leaded her over to the EMS, he stopped again, looking at her, deep into her eyes.

"Do you know how frightened I was?" he asked his voice so low she could barely hear him. "Do you know how afraid I was you'd get shot again? I couldn't bear losing you."

"I'm sorry," she whispered back.

But before Lindsay could say more, Danny pulled her closer, pressing his lips against hers in a deep kiss. She could feel all his concern, all his suppressed feelings in this one kiss. She didn't need a single moment to respond to him. The distance that had kept on separating them wasn't existent anymore.


	18. Chapter 18

**A/N: This is the last chapter of this story. Huge thanks to everyone who has read it, and who has reviewed and has added it to their favourites and alerts. Thank you so much!**

**And, like always, huge thanks to my beta HillHarperHOT!**

When Danny and Lindsay broke apart, Lindsay stared at him in surprise. She had seen the concern in his eyes, had felt how he had held her close in his eyes, not ready to let her go again. But that he'd kiss her? This wasn't something she hadn't expected.

"You should go over to the EMS now. Let them check to make sure you're really okay," Danny said, almost whispering.

Lindsay could only nod in response. With her legs still wobbling, she wasn't sure if this was caused by the events in the apartment or Danny's kiss, she managed to walk over to EMS, while Danny remained standing at the entrance door, waiting for the rest of the team to return.

When Lindsay walked away, he followed her with his eyes, making sure that she didn't collapse or needed something. He was still intoxicated by their earlier kiss. His lips were burning, longing to feel her again. He noticed that she had instantly kissed him back, as passionate as him. If he was honest, he hadn't doubted she was interested in him as well. He had just been afraid.

But why? Lindsay had been in danger, even without him. They had a dangerous job, and every day something could happen to them. All he could do was protect her as good as possible. That was all. Staying away from her, suppressing his feelings wasn't helping either of them.

This was what he had finally realized, and had made the first step. He had kissed her. And it had been wonderful.

"Hey Danny," Stella's voice interrupted him in his thoughts. "How is Lindsay? Is she okay?"

"Yes, I think she is," Danny answered, still staring into Lindsay's direction.

"She was really brave," Stella said, stepping next to him. "It wasn't her job to go undercover, but she did. It was dangerous, but she saved Dana."

"Yeah," Danny agreed.

The more he thought about what Lindsay had done with this undercover job, the more he started to realize why he would have never been able to convince her from not doing it. He remembered what she had told him, about the murder of her friends. She could feel what Beth must have been feeling. But this time she had managed to prevent more damage from happening.

Stella, who had noticed that Danny wasn't really paying attention to him, replied, "Maybe you and Lindsay should go home now. This case is closed. This was a hard first day for the two of you. Go home."

"Thanks Stella," Danny answered, for the first time since she had left the building looking at her. Then he walked over to Lindsay.

A few minutes later, the two were on their way home. Danny had convinced Lindsay to let him take her back home to her apartment. Lindsay hadn't been happy about the idea of going home again. She had tried to contradict, telling him it was early and she could really go back to work. But he had just ignored what she had been saying and had pulled her to his car.

When they finally reached her apartment building, Danny could see a slight sadness appearing in Lindsay's eyes. He didn't know if she was really sad that Stella had told her to not go back to work, or if it was because something else. They didn't speak a single word on their way up to her apartment, which caused Danny to worry even more. Was she really okay? The EMS had said there was no need to worry, but what if they had been wrong?

"Are you okay, Lindsay?" he broke the silence when she opened her front door.

"Sure," Lindsay answered, trying to smile at him. "I'm good. Like you said, maybe I should just…go in there now. And maybe…sleep a bit."

Danny saw the sadness in her eyes increasing, confusing and concerning him even more. When she turned around to just step into her apartment, he gently grabbed her arm, holding her in place.

"Please tell me what's wrong with you," he said, almost pleading slightly. "What's going on here?"

"Nothing," Lindsay answered, not even trying to hide her lie.

Danny sighed lightly, and before she could do anything, he carefully pushed her into her apartment and closed the door.

"Okay, now talk. I won't go away until you told me what's wrong." If he was honest, Danny wasn't even sure if he wanted an answer. What if she was already regretting their kiss? Or that they had gotten that close in general?

"Maybe then I should just stay quiet," Lindsay responded, to his surprise.

"What?" Danny asked confused. Lindsay smiled lightly.

"You said you won't go until I talk. So maybe I should stay quiet. It's a good reason to say nothing." When she noticed he still didn't understand, she explained, "Danny, I…don't want you to go, okay? But…well, I understand when you want to go, of course. When you want to be alone."

"What? Who said I want to be alone?"

Lindsay blushed slightly, looking away. "I thought you might want to. Because…you wanted to take me home. To my place."

Again Danny couldn't help but just stare at her. Had she really misunderstood him like this?

"Lindsay, I took you home so you can relax. This was our first day at work after the shooting, and for some reason you seem to like to be in danger and instantly did this undercover job. I thought you should have some quiet. Why do you think I don't want to be here with you? After…well, after what happened you should know I…want to be with you."

"Are you sure about that?" Lindsay asked back.

Danny nodded determined. "Yes, I am. Definitely. I needed time to realize that. But I want you, more than anything else."

Danny knew he could go on talking, telling Lindsay he really wanted just her. But there was a much better way to prove that. And so he just stepped over to her, pulled her into his arms and kissed her. Relieved, he noticed her instantly kissing him back. He could understand her doubts, especially after his strange behaviour. He had been unsure, he had had doubts, if it was right to be together with her. Now this doubts were gone and he was sure- he wanted her, only her.

It had been a hard and long way for them to reach this point. There had always been something special between them. The shooting had made them realize how much they meant to each other. Their relationship had just started and was new and fresh, but they both knew that the feelings, they had for each other, were stronger than anything else they had felt before.


End file.
